jokes about animals

My wife says I cant have another dog
Hi, we understand you are 40 and still single #cats
its better to have eaten something #dog
Has anybody seen my dog Lucky!
this dog must be blind
My coworkers didnt appreciate this joke #fridge #cat
water for your dog
as I watched the dog chase his tail
here are some dog rules to live by!
Dogs look like kiss
Compare cats to dogs
A cat that changed his mind
A static cat
The strong independent women aisle #wine #cat #food
If you can see my wiener youre too close #dog
Pretty special when your dog leaves you a special present
Lays Couch taste, Your dog will love it
I dont think you should kiss your dog like that
Do you know why your dog is happier than you
If your dog does a poo
Stop, I cant bear these animal jokes
This dog is too lazy to care
Why is it called a vet #doctor #dog
This is how dogs prefer Easter #rabbit
The origin of the platypus explained #duck #beaver
Pig Jigsaw for sale
Im no bird expert, but #male #female
Only one animal in the zoo #shitzu #dog
A picture for those who like pics of cats
Dog eats certificate of obedience training
This cat does not want to take a bath
this dog got caught in a booby trap
The left wing and right wing belong to the same bird
No time to explain #cat #toilet
Stop asking about your cat, try the chicken #chinese #restaurant
cat teases dog with mistletoe for Christmas
horse should have told her he was stopping
 how I feel after thanksgiving fat cat
Set them free #dog
Pizza with extra sausage #dog
a perfectly timed picture of a fishing dog
that dog must yawn a lot!
a dog totally convinced about a drawing
cat poses for a perfectly timed picture
Whats wrong with this mans face #dog
cat caught in folk music environment
Have you ever seen a see through cat
cat wants to be let in the house
Pretty ironic what this dog just ate
these dogs dont like water!
this weird dog is banned from the park
this is how the ideal hotdog sandwich should look #dog
how to tell if your cat #plot #kill
when a small dogs takes the large spot
Justin Bieber visits animal shelter
 youre doing it wrong #dog #tree #fail
Perfect timed pic of a dog eating a cookie #timing
a cat trying salad #fat
Find out who loves you more, your woman or your dog
this stuff doesnt work #dog
Tastes like #ass #donkey #dog
a floor covered in political promises #cattle #horse
How to catch a cat with an emty box
Dog failing like a boss jumping a fence
Gang signs turned into cats cradle
Even grumpier cat found
a dog wondering whos a good boy
cat watches outside
Cat hiding behind a bag of catfood
dog and a baby discussing being gay
dog is glad youre home The Christmas tree fainted
two hooters in the snow, owl
dog loves grass that tickles his nipples
Batman costume made with a cat
why it takes so long to shoe a mare
holy cow in the barn, holy mackerel in the lake/sea
horse looks like john Bon jovi
framed picture of a cat says my dog
a handy device to carry your cat
telling a women to calm down works as well as trying to baptize a cat
heating up liitle pig bacon
Water for your dog
the moment my dog realizes
So you dog fetches balls
missing cat in the window
Guy walking his dog
sign for a lost dog
snoop dog posing
not sure if duck face girls are posing for a picture or
America sideways looks like a duck
cat and 3 meerk
Dog lost the ball
cats version of a super bowl
A cat that can be switched on
internet is full of cat people
guy riding a cat
dogs with their heads out the car window
Dog going down a slide
horse loves this post
cat found but its not a cat opposum
dog scared for seeing spider
dog peeing in mouth of guy in picture
I have made a huge mistake guy in horse suit attacked by lions
cat seems humans as slaves
guy taking a cow on his bike
dog caught fly but killed interior
dog mating with a pussy
cat stole kids popsicle on his fur
someone posting her cat is sick getting advice from others
cats laying in the sun with bikini
photobomb level dog
mutual pillow dog sleeping on girl sleeping on dog
dog wants to be let in so he can beg to go out
horse jumping in water
cat behind window with lost sign on it
man walking an awful lot of dogs
dog left dry spot on the patio after sleeping in the rain
dog laughing at cat
girl with cat looking like beard
dog caught his tail
bed and breakfast dog in food bowl
duck face Elmer shooting girl
creepy picture of running cat
dog pig bacon
dogs party
chicken hatching dog
duck stealing money
dog looking surprised
dog in car shotgun passenger seat
dog in car wind
cat on fan
cat and dog floating in air
dog looks like its melting
a cat smiling at a camera
cat wanting to jump has 9 lives
kid drawing on dog
why cats hate kids
two cats eating the hard way
cow with head stuck under fence gets taken by a bull
dog with cat on his head
the moment my dog decided he was done catching frisbee
snoop dog umbrella is for
girl playing tennis cat shadow
bird of pray caught goldfish
dont remember that part prince horse
cat tied up by his own leash
new facial scar in cat guy with ball in mouth
boxer dog wearing gloves
anal kingdom family fail posing at animal kingdom
dog looking weird because there is no coffee
never give up frog fighting bird
dog with cookies on his head not eating self control
thermometer cat
short run for dogs
comes with two subwoofters dog with two puppies
deep shit shut up fox between hunting dogs
Lazy dog
guy holding dog with his teeth
blue cat coughing up blue hairball
cat did not attack mouse
duck ducklings down drain
lost dog have you seen this
Parrot riding bike hungry cat looking
morning grumpy cat
dog peeing on girl sunbathing
cat jumping in air
dog misses ball fail
dog fail food poster
found brownies smiling dog
yellow black chocolate meth lab funny looking dog
laughing horse
horse stuck cow laughing smiling
biting sheep
cow fail toy car
tiger stripes cat shadow
dog shitting crap posing blonde lady
dog ball car keeping
dog grill sausage licked
adult dog store inflatable leg
Dogs
A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, " ...
Woman Vs Dog
What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman yelling on the back ...
Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
Barking Dog
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed Listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in ...
Pessimist and a dog
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that ...
At the Vet
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to ...
Cat
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as per ...
My Dog Don't Bite
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but ...
5 minute management course 6
5 minute management course 6 Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
The cat and the rooster
A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat ...
Damn Cat
A man who hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of the animal by driving him several blocks away ...
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans 1 Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at ...
Firefighter
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
Sheep
Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the ...
Cat
I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and ...
Dogs
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dos is ...
Perspective
If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and ...
Dog
Joe was a steward for Fly High airlines. He watched as an older lady boarded the plane holding a ...
Dog Ears
Q: What kind of dog eats with his ears? A: They all do. I haven’t seen a single dog remove ...
Cat
A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. ...
Hot Dog
What did the dog say to the hot ...
Dead Cat
The lady next door ran over my cat. She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at ...
Butt
A cat meets a fox in the forest. The fox asks the cat why she smells so dreadful. The cat ...
Cat
A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and ...
It Figures
A man and his son walk in the park and come upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad what are ...
Lost Cat
“Hi, police department? I’ve lost my cat and … “Sorry lady, this is not a police job, we ...
Cats
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: ...
Dogs
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
Words of Wisdom from Kids
Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I ...
Women and Cats
Women and cats will do as they please, men ...
A Vet
"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. "I'm very sick, would you please call ...
Don't Kick the Animals
A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals." ...
First Price
How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show? Somebody didn’t shut the champion’s cage ...
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
An Englishman and an Irishman
An Englishman and an Irishman were speaking sitting in a park bench when a horrible, ugly looking ...
Dogs
Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog ...
Baby Planes
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
Dog's and Cat's Diary
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A ...
Dog and wagon
A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wagon. The boy has his dog pulling it ...
Better
My coughing is much better now. I only set ...
Dead Cat
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that ...
Cat
“Our cat was stupid enough to drink some petrol yesterday. She spent two hours racing through the ...
4th of July
4th of July The difference between a duck and George Washington is: One has a bill on his face; ...
Blind men
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
Talking Dog
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. ''Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my ...
Dead Dog
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
sheep
Q: What do you call a sheep ...
Life
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at ...
Guard Dog
A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the ...
Blond
There was a blond who was tired of all the blond jokes going around and decided to dye her hair ...
Cats vs Teenagers
For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot ...
Baskin Robbins
Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking ...
Jump
What dog can jump higher than a ...
Dog Chess
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the ...
Pet Rules
PET RULES To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, ...
Hot Dog
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: ...
Dogs Balls
2 guys were walking down the street and saw a dog lying on a porch licking his balls. Guy 1 ...
Dog Song
The official dogs’ song? “Every snack you take, every food you make, every can you shake, ...
Dog
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog. Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I'm ...
New Years Eve Party
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned ...
Plants
"Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix 'dog'. For instance, there is the dogrose, the ...
Farm
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his ...
Cross-eyed Dog
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you ...
The truths about life, that little children have learnt
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't ...
Dressed and Ready
A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night ...
Duck
A duck walks into a bar. It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have bread?” Bartender: “No.” ...
The Two Duck Hunters
ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT. A guy ...
Dog Tail
A guy was cutting the tail off his dog. His neighbor asked, "What the hell are you doing?" “My ...
Two Nuns
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people ...
12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition
12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me: ...
Composition
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy ...
Difference?
What is the difference between a dog on the back porch howling and a woman on the front porch ...
Bird
Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly." ...
Buy the Cow
For all those men who believe that there's no reason to buy the cow when you can get the milk free, ...
Alligator Shoes
A blond was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, ...
Cow and Grass
Teacher: "I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is grass?" Student: " ...
Smart Dog
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog ...
Cat
A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days ...
Ever Wonder?
-Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? - Why women can't put on mascara with ...
Duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck ...
Emergency Call
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Caller: Help me, ...
Best Friend
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your ...
Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned
Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned * No matter how hard you try, you can' ...
A Dog in Heat
A little girl asked her mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mum replies, " ...
A blind man..
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash ...
Problems can be fixed...
A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring ...
A blind man
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy ...
The Pastors Cat
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that ...
On the Run
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide ...
Results
Doctor: "We got your test results back. I'm ...
Dog's Haircut
A friend took her dog to the parlor for a haircut, and asked what it would cost. Being told that it ...
The German
A couple were walking their dog along the beach, the dog was having a great time running into the ...
Taxes
The income tax expert was visiting the school to talk about taxes. “I’m going to tell you now ...
Dogs
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their ...
The Butcher
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in its mouth reading: "10 lamb ...
Cats
"I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I ...
Remember This
Remember this: Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks ...
Dancing Duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On ...
Actual Funny Pet Names
Does kitty dream of slinking down the catwalk? If so, give her a name that screams “I’m a star!â ...
Birds
Name a bird which doesn' ...

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