jokes about animals
- Dogs
- A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, " ...
- Woman Vs Dog
- What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman yelling on the back ...
- Cat Owners
- How do cat owners react when faced with a polite debate about cats that pops their bubble of "my ...
- Your Duck is Dead
- A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
- Barking Dog
- A blonde and her husband are lying in bed Listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in ...
- Pessimist and a dog
- An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that ...
- At the Vet
- A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back to ...
- Cat
- A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as per ...
- My Dog Don't Bite
- A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but ...
- Cats
- A cat owner invited their neighbor over for dinner and introduced their four cats. "That's Alogue, ...
- 5 minute management course 6
- 5 minute management course 6
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so ...
- Dog sweater
- I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If ...
- The cat and the rooster
- A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool.
The cat fell in and the rooster laughed.
The cat ...
- Cat and frog
- What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, but the frogs croaks every ...
- Cat
- My cat is so impatient?
...
- Damn Cat
- A man who hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of the animal by driving him several blocks away ...
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
- Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
1 Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at ...
- Firefighter
- A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
- Cats and Commas
- What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a ...
- Cat
- My cat just walked up to the paper shredder ...
- Sheep
- Fred walks into his house with a sheep tucked under his arm. He carries it upstairs and into the ...
- Cats Tail
- If a cat lost its tail, where does ...
- Dogs
- Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dos is ...
- Dog Ears
- Q: What kind of dog eats with his ears?
A: They all do. I haven’t seen a single dog remove ...
- Perspective
- If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and ...
- Cat
- I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and ...
- Dog
- Joe was a steward for Fly High airlines. He watched as an older lady boarded the plane holding a ...
- Hot Dog
- What did the dog say to the hot ...
- Dead Dog
- Joe was a steward for Fly High airlines. He watched as an older lady boarded the plane holding a ...
- Cats
- A lady owned several cats, and introduced them to me as follows: "That’s Astrophe, that’s ...
- Cat
- A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. ...
- Dog Park
- i can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep biting him.
i guess that’s what i get ...
- Dead Cat
- The lady next door ran over my cat.
She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at ...
- Butt
- A cat meets a fox in the forest.
The fox asks the cat why she smells so dreadful.
The cat ...
- Cat
- A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and ...
- It Figures
- A man and his son walk in the park and come upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad what are ...
- Jungle Cat
- Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a ...
- Lost Cat
- “Hi, police department? I’ve lost my cat and …
“Sorry lady, this is not a police job, we ...
- Dogs
- A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
- Cat and Comma
- What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has its claws at the end of is paws; a ...
- Words of Wisdom from Kids
- Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I ...
- A Vet
- "Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. "I'm very sick, would you please call ...
- Dog
- I spilled spot remover on ...
- Don't Kick the Animals
- A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
...
- Catholic Dog
- Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
- Cats
- Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: ...
- First Price
- How did the cat get the first prize at a bird show?
Somebody didn’t shut the champion’s cage ...
- An Englishman and an Irishman
- An Englishman and an Irishman were speaking sitting in a park bench when a horrible, ugly looking ...
- Women and Cats
- Women and cats will do as they please, men ...
- Dogs
- Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog ...
- Dog's and Cat's Diary
- EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A ...
- Dog and wagon
- A man is walking down the street and he sees a boy riding a wagon.
The boy has his dog pulling it ...
- Dog
- Every time my doorbell rings, my dog ...
- Dog Tricks
- What do you call a dog that does ...
- Magic Dog
- What do you call a dog who does ...
- Leaving the House
- Husband leaves the house with the dog.
Wife asks: "Are you taking the donkey for a walk?"
...
- Dog
- I asked my dog what's two ...
- Dog IQ
- A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s ...
- Dead Cat
- A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that ...
- Talking Dog
- What’s more amazing than a ...
- Better
- My coughing is much better now. I only set ...
- Cat
- “Our cat was stupid enough to drink some petrol yesterday. She spent two hours racing through the ...
- Baby Planes
- A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
- Owl
- I know someone who talks ...
- 4th of July
- 4th of July
The difference between a duck and George Washington is:
One has a bill on his face; ...
- Blind men
- A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
- Alligator
- What do you call an ...
- Motionless Dog
- At first, I couldn’t understand why my dog was ...
- German
- A german tourist jumped in de freezing water to save my precious little dog, after he climbed out ...
- Dog
- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
...
- Dog
- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
...
- Talking Dog
- This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.
''Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my ...
- Dead Dog
- Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
- Guard Dog
- A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the ...
- Life
- On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at ...
- Cross
- Q: What happens when you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A: You get a dog who chases after cars a lot ...
- Words
- Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.
Q: Where do cows go for ...
- Jump
- What dog can jump higher than a ...
- Dog Chess
- A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the ...
- Baskin Robbins
- Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun.
A mama cat and her kitten were walking ...
- Dogs
- Two men, Jim and John, were walking their dogs when they passed by a restaurant. “Let’s go in ...
- Hot Dog
- Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: ...
- Cats vs Teenagers
- For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot ...
- Dog
- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm ...
- Plants
- "Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix 'dog'. For instance, there is the dogrose, the ...
- Pet Rules
- PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
...
- Blond
- There was a blond who was tired of all the blond jokes going around and decided to dye her hair ...
- Dogs Balls
- 2 guys were walking down the street and saw a dog lying on a porch licking his balls.
Guy 1 ...
- Dogs
- Why did the man name his dogs ...
- Farm
- A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his ...
- Dog Song
- The official dogs’ song?
“Every snack you take, every food you make, every can you shake, ...
- New Years Eve Party
- We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned ...
- Cross-eyed Dog
- A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you ...
- sheep
- Q: What do you call a sheep ...
- Sheep
- In which country do sheep ...
- Dressed and Ready
- A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night ...
- Sheep
- I recently adopted a sheep.
His ...
- Flying Dog
- A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
“ ...
- Dog Tail
- A guy was cutting the tail off his dog. His neighbor asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
“My ...
- The Two Duck Hunters
- ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE
INCIDENT.
A guy ...
