jokes about work

space mountain thrillride
mondays arent so bad its your job that sucks
we all know that guy doing nothing while others work
Horn taped under chair
T-rex has too tiny arms to change the water bottle
guy gaming at work having to fight boss
motion sensors at work
sorry I cant go to work today I fractured my motivation
Office Arithmatic
OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production ...
Late for work!
He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
Nice House
Carlos calls his boss in the morning: Ey, boss i not come work today I really sick. I got ...
Work
At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I ...
The Boss
The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. ...
Help the Wife
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some ...
The Boss
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the ...
New Job
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as ...
Work
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
Sick Day
A man calls in to work. "I can't come in today.." The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" " My ...
Discipline
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
Prison
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
NO COME WORK TODAY
Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, ...
A young guy from Missouri
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Excuse
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
A few Days off
I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
Black eyes
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, ...
Girlfriend
A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Cracking the Human Resource Code
COMPETITIVE SALARY Most of our competitors don't pay much either. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" ...
The Boss
The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one ...
Fishing
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
50-50
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family, ...
The pretty young secretary
The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office. "We operate the ...
Work
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
The Shredder
A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
Newest son-in-law
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
Life after Death
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk ...
Duck
A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a ...
Blonde Line Painter
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line ...
Drinking At Work
Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace... 1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
Understanting Help Wanted Ads
Understanting Help Wanted Ads What we say:Competitive Salary What we mean: We remain ...
The boss calls
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
Thermos
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
Bubba
Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
Stopping by the Office
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with ...
Work
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with ...
Tired
For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
Memo from Accounting Department
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
Evaluation Comments
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really ...
Watchman
A man is being interviewed for a job. “What are your qualifications for the job of night ...
At Work
At work A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be ...
Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Hate your Job?
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called ...
Shovels
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten ...
Why I fired my Secretary
Why I fired my Secretary Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
Blond Job
A blond walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few ...
Why Men Can't Win
Why Men Can't Win If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work ...
Paint the Porch
A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. After a couple weeks with no luck, ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...
Job Interview
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting ...
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. ...
Older Years of Resolutions...
RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at ...
Lemons
A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed too qualified for the job. 'Look ...
Loudspeaker
A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it ...
Sales force
A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department
01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
Don't argue with a Vet!!
I got this story sent: One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the ...
Babies
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
Four expectant fathers
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
Depressed
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't ...
Fire him or her?
The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It ...
A Dentist's Office
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one ...
Job
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for ...
Prison vs. Work
-- In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work, you spend most of ...
Job Center
A retired man went into the Job Center in downtown Nanaimo British Columbia and saw a card ...
Pretty Pussy
John gets home from work one day and finds his pretty blonde wife has been crying. "What's wrong?" ...
Prison or Work
IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. AT WORK: You spend the majority of ...
Post office
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery Store. As he waited, he was ...
Married Couple
A married couple are sitting in the office of a marriage counselor. Neither of them have said a ...
Zoo
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a ...
Nice
The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million ...
5 minute management course 3
5 minute management course Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...
Different
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
40 things you would like to say at work
40 things you would like to say at work 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full ...
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. ...
The Penis
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: 1. I do physical ...
Prison Vs Work
Prison Vs Work IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. AT WORK.. ...
Product Wording
NEW - Different color from previous design. ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with ...
Gynaecologist's Assistant
A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Chelsea and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's ...
Post Office
The old man approached a young stranger in the post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this ...
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with ...
Lovemaking Aid
Ewis walked into my office ...
The Wine Tester
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to ...
Software
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software ...
Prison vs Work
Prison vs Work Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make ...
Homeless
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. ...
Lay off
A company boss has to decide who to lay off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack ...
You know you're living in 2004 when...
You know you're living in 2004 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. ...
Blondes on the Job
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the ...
Computers
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand ...
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
Contractors
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, ...
Post Office
There was a man who worked for the Post Office... whose job it was to process all the mail that had ...
Rectal Thermometer
When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this: On your way home from work, stop at your ...
The Frog
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all ...
Kids Jokes
Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India. Boss: Which part? Sardarji: What do you mean which ...
Work
Two guys work for the city: one furiously digs a hole, the other quickly fills the hole. A ...
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