jokes about wife

santa explaining his wife he saw his old girlfriend
wife of the year carring case of Budweiser through the snow
sick wife carry to kitchen to make breakfast
my wife isnt thrilled about my new game
Every man has this look when his wife is driving
men submissive to woman
More Wives
More Wives I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn' ...
Marriage Counselor
One day a couple visited a marriage counselor about their children. The wife says to the marriage ...
Wives and Husbands and more
Wives and Husbands and more Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "Nothing...? ...
When I die?
WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why ...
Marriage Seminar
MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife ...
Fortune
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a ...
Married Couple
A married couple are sitting in the office of a marriage counselor. Neither of them have said a ...
Marriage Humour
Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our ...
Marriage
While attending a Marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to ...
Marriage
A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was ...
Married Couple
This married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table ...
Wives
Wives When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -David ...
Married...how many?
A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. "I know ...
Two choices in Life
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, Or get married and wish you ...
Married
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. ...
The millionaire husband
Man 1: I became a millionaire after marriage. Man 2: Wow! Your wife has sure bought lots of luck ...
Happy
“Now, that looks like a happily married couple.” Remarks the husband. “Don’t be too sure, ...
Married
A man is incomplete until he is ...
More Marriage
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! ...
Wife Jokes
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever ...
Married
A man is incomplete until he is ...
Never Argued
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," ...
Very elderly Widow
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ' ...
Marriage
The local news station was interviewing an 84-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- ...
Married
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
A married couple in their early 60s
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, ...
Marriage
A married couple, both avid golfers, was discussing the future one night. "Honey", the wife said, " ...
Getting Married
"My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married. She keeps asking me if I can support her, ...
Remarried
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. ...
Married Couple
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and was blessed with 22 ...
My Wife
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not ...
Sexual Positions
It has been studied and determined that the most often used Sexual position for married couples ...
Fairy
A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a ...
Old Friends
A fellow was invited to the home of some old friends for dinner. His buddy preceded every request ...
Love and Marriage
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. - Elizabeth Ashley Many a ...
Husband and wife
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as ...
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she ...
10 time divorce
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding ...
He said, She said
He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. I said to ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Marry
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of ...
What is Celibacy?
What is Celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. ...
Last Word
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that ...
An Irish Point of View on the Election race..
An Irish Point of View on the Election race.. We, in Ireland , can't figure out why people are ...
A young Couple
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife ...
Reading a book
A married couple was lying in bed one night. The wife is all curled up, ready to go to sleep, as ...
Supper
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? ...
Pulling his Pud
A farmer finds his son behind the barn pulling his pud, and the old man exclaims, "Son, if you are ...
Married
A man and woman are standing at the altar, about to be married, when the bride-to-be looks at her ...
Religion
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I ...
Perfect Marriage
RED SKELTON'S Recipe for the Perfect Marriage: 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, ...
Golf Ball
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his ...
If I died
Woman: Would you get married again if I died? Man: Definitely not! Woman: Why not -- don't you ...
The Wife
* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's on the TV?'' I said, ''Dust!'' * In the ...
Counseling
After 20 years of marriage a husband and wife go to counseling. When asked what the problem is, the ...
Business men
A popular airline recently introduced a special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their ...
Husband and Wife
Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife? "Without Infomation Fighting Everytime". Wife on ...
A newly wed Couple
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
Grill
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the ...
Pictures
On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the ...
For sale
Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section. FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of ...
Whos your daddy?
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
A marriage Counselor
A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counselor. The ...
Newly weds
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband ...
Where's the Husband?
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night ...
Divorce in Heaven
There was a couple who was about to get married. Before the wedding, they had a tragic accident and ...
Halloween
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, ...
Married for 50 years
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when ...
Three men
Three men were sitting in a bar talking about how whipped they had their wives. The first two ...
The Funeral
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How ...
Doing it in the Dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband ...
Old lady
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local ...
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? ( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, ...
Happiness
HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be ...
Married
Sleeping the sleep of the just in his upper berth, the gentleman was awakened by a persistent ...
Old couple getting married
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to ...
Married
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" You haven't asked yet. ...
Arguement
During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place.
"I ...
Marriage
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing ...
Wife vs Husband
WIFE VS HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An ...
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage. A couple was celebrating their golden wedding ...
Widow
Two salesmen are traveling in the country when their car breaks down. The only house around for ...
Blondes
Two blondes were sitting at a table in a club, when a guy invites one of them to dance. She asks ...
Two Married Buddies
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I ...
The Wishing Well
A married couple walks up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. ...
Golf Genie
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which ...
A former Prostitute
A former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been somewhat stretched is given a ...
Accident
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor ...
Kids
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 2 ...
At the Gates
At the gates to heaven a new arrival, George noted that there were two paths, one marked Women, and ...
Words
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,0 ...
Mad
Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean ...
Married
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on ...
Words
WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a ...
Florida Vacation
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, his wife was ...
How many words?
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged ...
Gotta pee
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, ...
Frustrated Lady
A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband' ...
Pre-marriage questionnaire Form
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young ...
Blonde Mortician
Blonde Mortician A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, ...
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