jokes about school

to this day the boy bullying me at school still takes my lunch money
School spelling mistake
get through school without getting pregnant
cartoon of kids in school with trap door under their table
School Joke
As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in ...
Concept
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely ...
Student
A student is talking to his teacher. Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?" ...
Give
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what ...
Unusual activities
A professor is lecturing his class on the possibility of finding joy through unusual activities. ...
One-Armed Jock
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their ...
Stimulus bill
Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't ...
No Excuse
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any ...
Mets Fans
On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?" Every student ...
Life on other planet
Student: Please Sir! Did you hear that scientists have found life on another planet? Teacher: ...
Next Generation
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
Sex-Ed.
I once took a sex-education class in college and a funny thing happened one day. The professor ...
School
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school. "If you ...
College
After eight years in college, there is one Aggie student who still can't seem to get himself ...
Breakfast
At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, ...
Aspiring Psychiatrists
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to ...
Homework
Q. Why did the student eat his homework? ...
Little Mary
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day ...
The P
It was a average day in Bobby's first grade class. Around 11:00 he had to go to the bathroom, so he ...
Math
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What ...
Med School
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human ...
Questions
There is this third grade class with this kid named Rotten Reggie in it. One day, the teacher ...
A Study
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of ...
Miss Franny
A school headmaster had interviewed, and offered a job to a lady teacher called Miss Franny. He ...
Present Tense
Teacher: "What is the present tense for the sentence 'I killed someone'?" Student: "The present ...
Church on Sunday
A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday. He seemed a little depressed, so ...
School
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really ...
Birds
Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before ...
Turnip
A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes water?"
Little Johnny ...
Tenses
The teacher says: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," ...
Unemployment
Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?" "Yes, sir! I'd put all ...
Johnny's back at school
Johnny's back at school The teacher asked, "Class use the word contagious in a sentence." Molly ...
Scots Boy
A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. " ...
Exam
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, ...
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - ...
Age
A teacher said to her student, "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be ...
Birthday Maths
Teacher: "Lean, how old were you on your very last birthday?" Lean: "Seven." Teacher: "Then how ...
Who Knows
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she ...
Stapler
Having served his time with the Marine Corps, a man became a school teacher and before school ...
Involuntary Muscular Contractions
A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical ...
Little Johnny
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really ...
Ain't
Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is ...
Teacher vs. Student
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. ...
Two high school Sweethearts
two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And ...
Paybacks
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; ...
Pepito
A grade school teacher in Las Milpas (somewhere in Texas ) asked her students to use the word " ...
Pizza
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his ...
Students
These are actual comments made on students report cards by teachers in the New York City public ...
A Lesson on Socialism
A Lesson on Socialism An economics professor said he had never failed a single student before ...
Lie
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" ...
Marry
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of ...
Potty Mouthed
Little Johnny was the most "potty-mouthed" kid in school, looking for every chance to offer a "new " ...
At the Bar
There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, " ...
Gifts
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. ...
Question
Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window ...
Mr. Common Sense
Mr. Common Sense Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he ...
America
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, ...
Ten Commandments
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. ...
The Commandment
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. ...
Little Mary
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in her Catholic School.
Usually she slept ...
Cats
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: ...
Composition
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy ...
Whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically ...
Little Tony on English
Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, ...
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable ...
School answering Machine
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!) This is the ...
School
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" ...
A Kindergarten teacher
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would ...
Blonde
What are the blonde's first words after 4 ...
Duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck ...
Difficult Class
Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher ...
Christmas
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused ...
Millionaire
The teacher said; “Take a pencil and paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a ...
Circumcised
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his ...
Little Girl
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised ...
A good way to start the day
A good way to start the day Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in ...
Condoms
A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious ...
The Electric Chair
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in ...
Love
The teacher asked the class if anyone could give the class an example of love. Little Susie stood ...
SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest
Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. ...
Old age
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs ...
Bathroom excuse manners
Bathroom excuse manners During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her ...
Grown Up Words
A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds and asked what they all did in the summer holidays. ...
Supplies
After registering for his high school classes, my son burst into the house, filled with excitement. ...
Stupid
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, " ...
Full
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, ...
Old School
The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room schoolhouse. ...
Advanced Biology Class
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term test. The last question was, 'Name ...
Smart Ass Answers
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" ...
Moon vs Sun
Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Pupil: "The moon." Teacher: "Why?" ...
Mothers Milk
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was: "Name ...
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR II
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who ...
3 little pigs
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the ...
Just Fred
A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name. " ...
You might be a college student if . .
1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student. 2. If you live ...
Chicken
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't ...
Dead Cat
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that ...
Men
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The ...

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