jokes about marriage

guy stealing drink dancing couple
santa explaining his wife he saw his old girlfriend
wife of the year carring case of Budweiser through the snow
sick wife carry to kitchen to make breakfast
my wife isnt thrilled about my new game
wedding ring making lady cry
Every man has this look when his wife is driving
men submissive to woman
Marriage Counselor
One day a couple visited a marriage counselor about their children. The wife says to the marriage ...
Married Couple
A married couple are sitting in the office of a marriage counselor. Neither of them have said a ...
Married Couple
This married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table ...
Marriage Humour
Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our ...
When I die?
WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why ...
Marriage
A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was ...
Wives and Husbands and more
Wives and Husbands and more Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "Nothing...? ...
More Wives
More Wives I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn' ...
Marriage Seminar
MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife ...
Two choices in Life
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, Or get married and wish you ...
A married couple in their early 60s
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, ...
The millionaire husband
Man 1: I became a millionaire after marriage. Man 2: Wow! Your wife has sure bought lots of luck ...
A young Couple
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife ...
Happy
“Now, that looks like a happily married couple.” Remarks the husband. “Don’t be too sure, ...
Fortune
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a ...
Married...how many?
A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. "I know ...
Husband and wife
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as ...
Marriage
A married couple, both avid golfers, was discussing the future one night. "Honey", the wife said, " ...
Marriage
While attending a Marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to ...
Married
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. ...
Married Couple
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and was blessed with 22 ...
Marriage
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a ...
More Marriage
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! ...
Wives
Wives When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -David ...
Marriage
The local news station was interviewing an 84-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- ...
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she ...
10 time divorce
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding ...
Remarried
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. ...
Wife Jokes
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever ...
Golden Wedding
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long ...
Divorce in Heaven
There was a couple who was about to get married. Before the wedding, they had a tragic accident and ...
Fairy
A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a ...
Irish Wedding Reception
At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled: "Would all the married men please stand next tot the ...
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage. A couple was celebrating their golden wedding ...
Married
A man is incomplete until he is ...
Scottish Wedding
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled... "Would all married men please stand next to ...
Golf Ball
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his ...
Married
A man is incomplete until he is ...
Wedding Anniversary
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his ...
Married
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
Getting Married
"My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married. She keeps asking me if I can support her, ...
Pulling his Pud
A farmer finds his son behind the barn pulling his pud, and the old man exclaims, "Son, if you are ...
How many words?
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged ...
Old Friends
A fellow was invited to the home of some old friends for dinner. His buddy preceded every request ...
A marriage Counselor
A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counselor. The ...
Sexual Positions
It has been studied and determined that the most often used Sexual position for married couples ...
Reading a book
A married couple was lying in bed one night. The wife is all curled up, ready to go to sleep, as ...
Marriage
An elderly couple in a small town had been dating for a long time. At the urging of their friends, ...
Love and Marriage
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. - Elizabeth Ashley Many a ...
Pre-marriage questionnaire Form
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young ...
Old couple getting married
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to ...
Marry
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of ...
A newly wed Couple
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
Ring
Marriage is a three-ring circus: ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Wedding Anniversary
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow ...
Marriage
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing ...
A former Prostitute
A former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been somewhat stretched is given a ...
Counseling
After 20 years of marriage a husband and wife go to counseling. When asked what the problem is, the ...
Doing it in the Dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband ...
Whos your daddy?
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
Never Argued
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," ...
Wife vs Husband
WIFE VS HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An ...
Headstone
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband ...
My Wife
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not ...
Perfect Marriage
RED SKELTON'S Recipe for the Perfect Marriage: 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, ...
Pictures
On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the ...
Last Word
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that ...
Supper
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? ...
An Irish Point of View on the Election race..
An Irish Point of View on the Election race.. We, in Ireland , can't figure out why people are ...
Grill
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the ...
Very elderly Widow
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ' ...
He said, She said
He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. I said to ...
Newly weds
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an ...
Virgin
A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she was not, as her fiance thought, a ...
The Wife
* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's on the TV?'' I said, ''Dust!'' * In the ...
Halloween
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, ...
Married
A man and woman are standing at the altar, about to be married, when the bride-to-be looks at her ...
Married for 50 years
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when ...
If I died
Woman: Would you get married again if I died? Man: Definitely not! Woman: Why not -- don't you ...
Newly weds
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband ...
Husband and Wife
Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife? "Without Infomation Fighting Everytime". Wife on ...
The Wishing Well
A married couple walks up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. ...
What is Celibacy?
What is Celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. ...
Kids
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 2 ...
Two Brooms
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they ...
Religion
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I ...
Arguement
During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place.
"I ...
Accident
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor ...
Marine
Once a MARINE always a MARINE On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her ...
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? ( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, ...
A married couple with an age difference
At 85 years of age, Morris marries LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband is so old, ...
Married
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" You haven't asked yet. ...
Where's the Husband?
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, "Last night ...
Happiness
HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be ...
Married
Sleeping the sleep of the just in his upper berth, the gentleman was awakened by a persistent ...
For sale
Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section. FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of ...
Three Daughters
A mother had three daughters and at their weddings she asked them to write home and tell her about ...
Frustrated Lady
A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband' ...
New Bird
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely ...
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