jokes about computers

Parents said play outside computer screen behind window
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Driving
A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the ...
Discipline
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
Computers
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand ...
Computer Sex
Five reasons to believe computers are female:
  1. No one but the Creator understands their ...
Computers
Ever notice the older we get, the more we're like computers? We start out with lots of memory ...
Computer
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are ...
3 Guys
3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The ...
Computers
Why computers seem female: -- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. -- The ...
Computer Sex II
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
  1. They have a lot of data, but are still ...
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours ...
Password rejected
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, ...
Nerd?
A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the ...
Work
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Business one-liners
Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case. Hubbard's Law: ...
Cut Workload
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I ...
Alien
Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the ...
Technological Doctor
Technological Doctor One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I ...
The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's ...
A Prayer for daddy
A Prayer for daddy "Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in ...
Computer Problem
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called John, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom ...
Homework
One of my third-graders came to school crying. "Jonathan's upset because he couldn't complete his ...
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. ...
Because I'm a Man - I
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the ...
Two Priests
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...
LEXIPHILES
LEXIPHILES A lexiphile is a lover of words, in other words, people who are fascinated by words and ...
Hollywood
1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your ...
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
More blondes 10
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A1: "What's a lightbulb?" A2: One. She ...
Signs You Should Join E-Mailers Anonymous
10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 9) ...
She was only a...
She was only a... PLUMBER'S daughter but she sure gave my heart a wrench. STABLEMAN'S ...
People over 35 should be dead
People over 35 should be dead. Here's why: According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, ...
Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. ...
Old computer / Car joke
At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the ...
French Maid
A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He ...
Signs of the 21st Century
-- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. -- You have a list of 20 phone ...
A couple in a Car
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department
01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
Gates vs. GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the ...
Dumb
Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" ...
Babies
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
Four expectant fathers
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
You might be an engineer if...
You might be an engineer if... You and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the ...
Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down
Top 20 ways to tell someone their fly is down 20) The cucumber has left the salad. 19) I can ...
Different
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
My Generation vs. Your Generation
A very self-important university freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to ...
Computerized Airliner
The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or ...
call center conversations! part 2
call center conversations! Tech Support: 'OK... At the bottom left hand side of your screen, ...
Oxymoron's
A Fine Mess A just war A little big a little pregnant A new classic absolutely unsure ...
Stress
An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally ...
Character
Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC? ANSWER: The characters ...
Punk
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom ...
Question
A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the ...
Nice
The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million ...
The boss calls
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
More blondes 7
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, ...
More blondes 14
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get ...
English language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let's face it ...
Strange Young Couple
A Texas DPS Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He sees a couple in a car, ...
The 12-Step Program for Internet Addicts
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I use to. 2) I will eat ...
What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals
What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Techincal Manuals? If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And ...
Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let ...
Defining Teenagers
A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. ...
Sheldon Cohen
A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a ...
Honda
Mr Honda, of the Honda Motor Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgement. At the gates, St. ...
Frank who?
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it was going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the ...
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - ...
Seems to make sense part 2
-Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. -Artificial intelligence is no match for natural ...
Because I'm a Man
Because I'm a Man Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood ...
Adult Truths
Adult Truths 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your ...
A great email to forward to friends...
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly ...
Memo from Accounting Department
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
English is easy???
You think English is easy??? Read to the end .. . . A new twist 1) The bandage was wound ...
Why the US is in deep trouble
Why the US is in deep trouble A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why. 1. I ...
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