jokes about cars

Since I painted my car all pedestrians move out of the way
Dont crash your car if theres pain in the booth
Did this guy pass #car #drivingschool
you can sleep in a car #race #house
canadians are friendly all the time #car
if you ever feel useless #bmw #car #turnsignal
this is how some girls think makeup works #lamborghini #car
A car nearly hit the target #accident
there are no shortcuts #fail #truck #accident
rock #car
No parking means no parking #car #wrapped
hotmail arrived #truck #fire
I dont always pass slow drivers #traffic #stupid #car
kid saved for a new macbook, bough equivalent pc and a car instead
Cop pulls over dunkin donut truck
this is what you should do to your kids car!
I really wanna marry the guy who whistled at me from his car
3 feet of snow, better take the car out for a spin
I want to steal a donut truck
the closer you get
dogs with their heads out the car window
how car manufacturers see backseat passengers
3 mistakes bought car at cambrian ford sold dodge
truck moosejaw driver carries less than 50 dollars and is fully naked
Frog just waiting for the bus cause his car got toad
fire truck on fire
polish car invisible
faces on road truck and helicopter
dog in car shotgun passenger seat
dog in car wind
Police hit car
hone to Jason, secret sign on back of truck
bus hitting car
Kia Nokia car sinking in water
move over sticker on car
packed car
soldiers hiding behind car call of duty
low bridge truck with toilets
car hit pharmacy drive through
guys in car surfing behing what could go wrong
car bike run on fat save money
tough toy car broken wheel
cow fail toy car
cut out paper car mcdrive
dog ball car keeping
wrong trailer car water
Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her ...
Bridge
A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” ...
Car Names
BMW Bavarian Manure Wagon SATURN Sorry about that unusual rattling noise FIAT Feeble ...
3 Guys
3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The ...
Car names I
ACURA Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile Asia's Curse Upon Rural America AMC All ...
Truck
Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, my brother Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his ...
A Trucker
As a Minnesota trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs ...
Car Problem
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an ...
New Truck
One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new ...
Gates vs. GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the ...
Stolen car
A young man from Georgia came running in the restaurant and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody ...
A Riddle
A Riddle You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on ...
A Roadway driver
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to ...
Because I'm a Man - I
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the ...
Automobile Acronyms
AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence BMW Bought My Wife BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible ...
A blonde Lady Motorist
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose ...
Ride Damage Survey
This practical joke is best done to people who are truly anal about their car, truck, whatever. The ...
Firefighter
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door ...
Old computer / Car joke
At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the ...
Why Men don't write advice colums
Why Men don't write advice colums... Dear Walter, I hope you can help me here. The other ...
Old Joe
A farmer is in the middle of plowing his field when his tractor runs out of gas. He needs to get ...
Ranchers
A Texas Cattle Rancher and an Illinois Farmer were debating on who had the biggest spread of land. ...
New Car
I got a new car for my ...
Why men don't write advice to the lovelorn columns
Why men don't write advice to the lovelorn columns: Dear Walter: I hope you can help me ...
SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest
Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. ...
On a flight from New York to Paris
On a flight from New York to Paris, soon after take-off the pilot announces: "I'm sorry, but we ...
ID
An Arkansas trooper pulled over a pickup truck. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver ...
Really No Comparison
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a ...
A very successful Lawyer
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to ...
A couple in a Car
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior ...
Spaghetti Car
My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen ...
Bizarre Police Reports
Bizarre Police Reports In Detroit, Oregon, a hunter thought he had found a severed human head ...
Pedro
Pedro drives up to the border and is stopped by border patrol. "Name?" asks the customs officer ...
Smart Ass Answers
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" ...
Refrigeration Truck Driver
This Refrigeration Truck Driver goes into the bar and he asks the bartender "I like to have a shot ...
Leather dress
When a woman wears a leather dress A man's heart beats quicker, He goes weak in the knees, ...
Senior Driving
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife' ...
The Norwegian Volunteer Fire Dept.
One dark night outside a small town near Poulsbo,Washington, a fire started inside the local ...
Parrot Talk
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot. He found one that he liked and went up to ...
Girlfriend
Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the ...
Leather ....
When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, ...
Bad economy
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in themail. The economy is so bad I ...
Man
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in. ...
Smart Car
So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car. The sales ...
Carburetor
Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.” Husband: “Water in ...
Stay
This guy pulls into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure his dog had ...
Driver less Car
Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driver less car rolling slowly down ...
Turn back your car odometer
A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a ...
Used cars
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used ...
I'm fine
Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident ...
A snail
A snail owned a car and was painting a big letter 'S' on it. His friend the turtle saw him and ...
Life in a mental hospital
Life in a mental hospital A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he's driving a ...
Drunk
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a ...
Dumb Alabama Laws
Dumb Alabama Laws: It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. ...
A small Town
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car ...
Pulled over
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a ...
A new sign
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ...
Oil Change instructions
Oil Change instructions for women: 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles ...
The truck stop
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, I want three flat tires, a ...
MALE VS. FEMALE
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this ...
Widow
Two salesmen are traveling in the country when their car breaks down. The only house around for ...
The North and South
The North and South The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General. The North ...
Thank God
I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate ...
Buy a Car
One day a rich famous man went to buy a sport car from a dealership. The price of the car was $80000 ...
I've sure gotten old!
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought ...
A young guy from Missouri
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Car names II
GM General Maintenance Great Mistake Garbage Motors Generally Miserable Grossly ...
Cash
In a shop for kids, Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money- ...
Ploughing the land
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came ...
Golfing With the Mob
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. ...
Perfect Marriage
RED SKELTON'S Recipe for the Perfect Marriage: 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, ...
Blonde and Car
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and ...
Two prostitutes
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the roof of their car which read, "TWO ...
Arkansas's Rules
Arkansas's Rules 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Let's get this ...
Bad Day
I rear ended a car this morning... I knew it was going to be a REALLY bad day. The driver got out ...
Car for women
Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Clio and the ...
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes (You MUST read them aloud) English - Chinese That's not right! ...
Did You Know
Did You Know That the words race car spelled backward spells race car.. That eat is the ...
I'm Fine
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was ...
Bragging
A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his farm. After ...
A flat tire
blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder ...
Late
Mary and Dave got along pretty well. But there was one thing that drove Mary absolutely crazy, and ...
Benny
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. ...
Knitting
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was ...
Buy the Bull
A brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects a bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man ...
Cowboy rules
Cowboy rules for: Arizona, Texas , Oklahoma, Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah ...
The Horse
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to ...
A Vehicle Inspection
I had moved to South Carolina from New York, and at that time a vehicle inspection was required to ...
Accident
In Louisiana, this fella, Boudreaux, had a bad vehicle accident, caused by a truck. In court, the ...
Pulling Horse
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to ...
Drunk
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being ...
Fertilizer
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of ...
Daughter
A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a ...
Helicopter
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. ...
Duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck ...
gripe sheet
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics ...
Police Comment Transcriptions
Police Comment Transcriptions The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car ...
Why Underwear is Important
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... From the ...
Juggler
A Michigan State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles north of the Michigan/Indiana ...
Economics of Divorce
Married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, We had a cheap ...

Search Amazing Jokes: