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jokes about bar

a man walks into a bar
the ideal bar
A man walks into a bar
Termite
What did the termite say when he walked ...
A neutron at a bar
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. " ...
A blonde
A blonde sitting on a bar stool in a dress leaned over the bar and told the bartender. I am not ...
A seal visits a local bar
A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, "What's ...
Two guys in a bar
Two men are in a bar. One man turns to the other and asks,"Tell me, why do you keep pouring beer ...
Duck
Duck walks into a bar. Says to the bar tender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." Bar tender says, " ...
At the Bar
A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. ...
Camel
A frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a glass of wine. The frenchie looks ...
Loose string
One day, a loose string went into a bar and asked for a drink. The bartender said:, "We don't ...
Gold
One night, a wife is up late waiting for her husband to come home. ''Where have you been?'' she ...
Ugly man
A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of ...
A Bar
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and ...
Shrink
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to ...
Unfaithful
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to ...
Anything
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I've got a special offer for ...
Double Vodka
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow, ...
Drunk
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the ...
The Ballerina
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right ...
String
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says they don't serve pieces of string in his bar. ...
Gay
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman ...
Jump or Not?
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at ...
Smart Dog
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog ...
No money for a drink
A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way. I don't ...
Bill
A guy walks into a bar and he orders a whiskey. He sits down and just before he takes a sip of his ...
Jump
Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the ...
Blind men
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
Dogs
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says " ...
Lemon
A man sitting at a bar claiming to be the world's strongest man, squeezed every drop of juice from ...
The Weekend Warrior...
An inebriated man, clearly enjoying his weekend off, walks into a bar, sits down and demands a ...
A Genie from a Bottle
A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very ...
Roman
Another Roman walks into a bar, holds up ...
The Aggie Bar
A Texas Tech graduate, a University of Texas grad and a Texas Aggie were sitting in a bar in San ...
Sandwich
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The ...
A Frizzle
Two men walk into a bar. One sits at one end of the bar and the other at the opposite end. The ...
A beautiful Woman
A man walked into a bar. There, he saw a beautiful, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. ...
The Reverend
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he ...
Croc
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. ...
Hotdog
One night these two men wanted to go out for drinks, but they didn't have any money. so the first ...
A Blonde
Guy is in a bar and strikes up a conversation with a dumb blond. "I'm curious, do you smoke after ...
Pet Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the ...
Dancing Duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On ...
Magical dancing Duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On ...
Can't Explain
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the ...
Bartender
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender ...
A drunk man
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood ...
Ghost
A man comes into a bar, orders a beer and takes out of a bag a tiny piano and a 10 inch high man. ...
Alien
Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the ...
Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey ...
A three inch tall man
So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies" "Sure" the ...
The Tavern
A tale is told about a small town that had historically been "dry," but then a local businessman ...
An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman
An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic, ...
Drunk
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being ...
Texas Baby
A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just ...
Hate your Job?
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called ...
Drinking
A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He ...
Pubs back Home
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic, the ...
Bear
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke" The bartender asks " ...
Magic Beer
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks ...
Idiot
“I’d like to order a bar pizza,” the idiot says. “Shall I ask them to cut it into six or ...
Lame
Ok, A Woman owns a coffee shop on a quite busy street full of many different businesses. It was ...
Proud to be a Swede
A Swede is drinking in a bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear ...
Three Mice
Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot ...
Drunk
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look ...
Sandwich
A man walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich under his arm. "A pint of Guinness for me and the ...
3 ducks
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. ...
Shy Guy
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour ...
A Texas Baby
A Texan Is drinking in a New York Bar. He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ...
Irish
Paddy and Murphy went to a bar and got drunk. Paddy: Your glass is empty. Do you want another one? ...
A Pirate
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't ...
H2O
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, ...
Not Tonight
A skull and a set of jump leads walk up to a bar.. Bouncer: Not tonight, lads. Skull: Why not? ...
A newly wed Couple
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
Frog's Dream Girl
A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl. The psychic says, ...
Most Wanted
"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your honor," testified the man charged with indecent ...
Two Attorneys
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to ...
Beautiful Girl at Work
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul ...
Guess the Weight
An elderly madam walks into a bar, and announces that she will pass the night with whoever can ...
Strong
A guy walks into a bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest in here?" The toughest guy looks ...
Gay Bar
A cowboy walks into a bar, a few miles West of Brokeback Mountain, and, after two steps in, he ...
Horse
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit ...
Biker
A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker ...
Talking Dog
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. ''Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my ...
The Pirate
A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, and a steering wheel on his ...
Two men
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and ...
Female Hormones
Two men drink in a bar. One man says, "Did you know that beer contains female hormones?" The ...
Biker Trouble
A guy was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next ...
The Biker
A drunk walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees ...
No Need To Pay
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, 'What'll you have?' The guy answers, 'A scotch, ...
Soap
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before ...
Drunk
Harry's at the bar. It's midnight and he's been drinking hard since 5 that afternoon. He starts ...
The Wino
This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out. The tramp said ...
Shots
A man orders a shot of ever spirit in the bar, downs them all and says to the barman "I probably ...
Cigarettes
A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out ...
Single
A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent 1 Bar of soap 3 ...
Cowboys
Two cowboys from Texas walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand ...
Two Girls
I was in the pub on Saturday night. I noticed two large girls by the bar. They both had strong ...
An Irish man
An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck ...
Two old men
Two old men were sitting in a bar. One said to the other, "if I die first I want you to pour a 5 ...
Three vampires
Three vampires walk into a bar and order drinks. The first vampire asks for blood. The second ...
Less
I went to the bar the other night and told the 'keep, "A glass of your finest Less, please." "' ...
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