Male Fairytale

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess said, "No!!" And the Prince rode motorcycles, hunted, fished, raced cars and dated women half his age. He drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching. He never paid child support or alimony and and kept his house and guns. He ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts. He never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frikin' cool as hell. He he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. And lived happily ever after.

assault rifle?