"Earlier this week in France a 62-year-old man was rushed to the emergency room and 350 coins were removed from his stomach.
Friends say that the worst part was having to watch him make change for a dollar." --Conan O'Brien
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow THIS out.'"
"I bet if you were in some old west gang, and you were dragging a guy along the ground with your horse, it'd probably make you
really mad to look back and see him reading a magazine."