jokes about seniors

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Seniors
Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the ...
Senior Texting
Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary: BFF: Best ...
Senior Driving
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife' ...
Lovemaking tips for Senior
Lovemaking tips for Seniors 1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. ...
In Common
Q: What do an old person, a Mexican man, and a high school student close to graduation have in ...
Senior Bus
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his ...
A senior citizen
A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor ...
Paris
An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the ...
SENIOR HALLOWEEN...
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when: 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. ...
Senior Citizen
Yesterday my wife asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to ...
Elderly People
Three elderly men go out walking:
First one says. "Windy isn't it? "
Second one says, "No ...
Very elderly Widow
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ' ...
A New Year Prayer for the Elderly
A New Year Prayer for the Elderly God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked ...
Elderly Woman
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is ...
Two elderly women
Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick ...
Out of Shape
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join ...
The gentleman
A very elderly but bright-eyed gentleman, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, ...
An elderly Priest
An elderly priest made it a practice to visit the parish school once a week. he walked into the 4 ...
My Generation vs. Your Generation
A very self-important university freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to ...
Two elderly Wal-Mart Greeters
Two elderly Wal-Mart greeters were sitting on a bench during break time and one turns to the other ...
Older Folks 1.
An elderly gentleman... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor ...
Emergency
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick ...
Mexican Oysters
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico. While sipping ...
Two Elderly Ladies
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting ...
Ice Cream
An elderly couple decides to get some ice cream. The old man opts to go alone and asks his wife ...
The Bet
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted ...
Almonds
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway,when a little old lady taps him ...
Next Generation
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
Elderly Moments
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of ...
Retirement...
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is ...
Older folks 6.
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?" "Yep!" " ...
Fart
An elderly couple was attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her ...
An Elderly Couple
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ...
Senility
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, ...
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when: 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9 ...
The Funeral
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How ...
Male Pallbearers
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her ...
Guess the Weight
An elderly madam walks into a bar, and announces that she will pass the night with whoever can ...
Implants and Viagra
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This ...
Sofa
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a salesman. "Is there something ...
Elderly ladies in a car
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As ...
A silent passing of Gas
An elderly couple were attending church when about halfway through the service she leans over and ...
Ash
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. ...
Innovative Ideas
The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the ...
Old School
The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room schoolhouse. ...
Brothel Trip
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. ...
Golf
A young minister and an elderly parishoner were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the ...
Lawyer
After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of £50. The client gave ...
An elderly man in North Carolina
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in ...
Operation
An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. ...
Surgery
An elderly man was on the operating table awaiting surgery to be performed by his son, a renowned ...
Older Folks 2.
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns ...
Elderly Couple
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more ...
911
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She ...
Three women
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS ...
Matchmaker and Marriage
A matchmaker was telling to a young but poor man, "There is a beautiful elderly lady who is widowed ...
Retirement
And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !!! Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 ...
Healthy
At the urging of his doctor, an elderly man moved to the deepest countryside. After settling in, he ...
GRANDMA as a Senior Driver
GRANDMA as a Senior Driver The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a ' ...
Older Folks 4.
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as ...
Raisin Bread
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. ...
Could have been
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by ...
An elderly couple
An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries ...
Dorothy and Edna
Dorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop. Dorothy: "That nice ...
Birth Control
An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the ...
Retirees
Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many ...
Memory
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,” ...
Anniversary
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were ...
Enemies
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?' ...
Confession
An elderly Italian man asked the local priest to hear his confession. "Father, during World War II ...
Enemies
Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 8 ...
Older Folks 3.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table ...
Friends for many decades
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of ...
Forgive your Enemies
The preacher's, Sunday sermon was,"Forgive Your Enemies." He asked, how many have forgiven their ...
Money Coming In
An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one ...
In bed with..
An elderly woman comes home and finds her daughter in bed with a vibrator. She screams at her, " ...
Race
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race ...
Leaning Over
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping ...
Cowboy Boots
An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are from Austin, Texas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic ...
Forget
An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their ...
An Elderly Spinster
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the ...
Florida Vacation
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, his wife was ...
Caught Speeding
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: ...
Speeding
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I ...
Old man
Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman who was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 ...
The Devil
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went ...
Speeding
A Woman Gets Pulled Over by a Police Officer and....
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
The Devil
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local ...
Confession
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for ...
50/50
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ...
Florida Beach
Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and ...
A new Inmate
A new inmate at the prison was lying on his bunk at lights out. After a while, he heard someone ...
Skinny Dipping
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.. He had a large pond in the ...
Father
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The ...
Sports Quotes
Funny but Dumb Quotes From the World of Sports "I'm rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?" ...
Thanksgiving
The day before Thanksgiving, an elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate ...
The Amazing Scotsman
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in process. A sign read:"Don't Miss The ...
The Amazing Italian
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing. A sign read: "Don't Miss The ...
Trial
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial - a ...
Speed
(Note for those unfamiliar with the British road network: 'A' roads are main, or arterial, roads ...

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