jokes about seniors
- Seniors
- Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the ...
- Senior Texting
- Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:
BFF: Best ...
- Senior Driving
- As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife' ...
- Lovemaking tips for Senior
- Lovemaking tips for Seniors
1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. ...
- Senior Bus
- A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his ...
- A senior citizen
- A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.
When the doctor ...
- In Common
- Q: What do an old person, a Mexican man, and a high school student close to graduation have in ...
- Paris
- An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French customs desk, the ...
- SENIOR HALLOWEEN...
- You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
...
- Senior Citizen
- Yesterday my wife asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to ...
- Elderly People
- Three elderly men go out walking:
First one says. "Windy isn't it? "
Second one says, "No ... - Very elderly Widow
- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
' ...
- A New Year Prayer for the Elderly
- A New Year Prayer for the Elderly
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked ...
- Elderly Woman
- An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is ...
- Two elderly women
- Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick ...
- Out of Shape
- I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to
join ...
- The gentleman
- A very elderly but bright-eyed gentleman, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, ...
- An elderly Priest
- An elderly priest made it a practice to visit the parish school once a week.
he walked into the 4 ...
- My Generation vs. Your Generation
- A very self-important university freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to ...
- Sleep
- An elderly couple:
“Jim, I just cannot fall asleep…”
Jim: “The evil never sleeps.” ...
- Two elderly Wal-Mart Greeters
- Two elderly Wal-Mart greeters were sitting on a bench during break time and one turns to the other ...
- Older Folks 1.
- An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor ...
- Emergency
- A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick ...
- Parishioners
- A new minister visits one of his shut- in elderly parishioners.
They are both chatting about the ...
- Mexican Oysters
- A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.
While sipping ...
- Two Elderly Ladies
- Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting ...
- Chess
- At the weekend, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park, but it's becoming harder..to ...
- Ice Cream
- An elderly couple decides to get some ice cream. The old man opts to go alone and asks his wife ...
- The Bet
- An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted ...
- Almonds
- A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway,when a little old lady taps him ...
- Elderly Moments
- Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they
had shared all kinds of ...
- Next Generation
- A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
- Retirement...
- As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is ...
- Fart
- An elderly couple was attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her ...
- Older folks 6.
- A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
" ...
- An Elderly Couple
- An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ...
- Senility
- An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, ...
- You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when
- You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9 ...
- The Funeral
- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How ...
- Male Pallbearers
- An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her ...
- Guess the Weight
- An elderly madam walks into a bar, and announces that she will pass the night with whoever can ...
- Implants and Viagra
- There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This ...
- Sofa
- An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a salesman. "Is there something ...
- Elderly ladies in a car
- Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As ...
- A silent passing of Gas
- An elderly couple were attending church when about halfway through the service she leans over and ...
- Ash
- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
...
- Innovative Ideas
- The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the ...
- Old School
- The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room schoolhouse. ...
- Brothel Trip
- An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night.
...
- Golf
- A young minister and an elderly parishoner were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the ...
- Lawyer
- After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of £50.
The client gave ...
- Pastor
- A pastor a assured his congregation he was their servant and they should feel free to call him ...
- An elderly man in North Carolina
- An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in ...
- Operation
- An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. ...
- Surgery
- An elderly man was on the operating table awaiting surgery to be performed by his son, a renowned ...
- Older Folks 2.
- Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns ...
- Elderly Couple
- There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more ...
- 911
- An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She ...
- Three women
- THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS ...
- Matchmaker and Marriage
- A matchmaker was telling to a young but poor man, "There is a beautiful elderly lady who is widowed ...
- Healthy
- At the urging of his doctor, an elderly man moved to the deepest countryside. After settling in, he ...
- Older Folks 4.
- Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as ...
- Retirement
- And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !!!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 ...
- Lovely Names
- An elderly couple goes to their favorite restaurant they’ve been visiting together for decades. ...
- GRANDMA as a Senior Driver
- GRANDMA as a Senior Driver
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a ' ...
- Lounge
- An elderly gentleman walked into an upscale cocktail lounge
He is in his early-eighties, very well- ...
- Satan
- Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the ...
- Raisin Bread
- A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.
...
- Could have been
- An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by ...
- An elderly couple
- An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries ...
- Old Lady
- Mrs. Green lived in two story house together with an elderly widow. After not hearing from her for ...
- Dorothy and Edna
- Dorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop.
Dorothy: "That nice ...
- Birth Control
- An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the ...
- Florida
- Three men are sitting on a bench in their fancy retirement community in Florida
Steve says: "I ...
- Retirees
- Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Q. How many ...
- Memory
- Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,” ...
- Anniversary
- While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were ...
- Enemies
- Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
...
- Confession
- An elderly Italian man asked the local priest to hear his confession. "Father, during World War II ...
- Enemies
- Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
8 ...
- Older Folks 3.
- An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table ...
- Friends for many decades
- Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of ...
- Forgive your Enemies
- The preacher's, Sunday sermon was,"Forgive Your Enemies."
He asked, how many have forgiven their ...
- Money Coming In
- An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery.
Pausing before one ...
- In bed with..
- An elderly woman comes home and finds her daughter in bed with a vibrator. She screams at her, " ...
- Leaning Over
- One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping ...
- Race
- An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race ...
- Cowboy Boots
- An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are from Austin, Texas.
Sam always wanted a pair of authentic ...
- Forget
- An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their ...
- An Elderly Spinster
- An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the ...
- Florida Vacation
- An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida,
his wife was ...
- Caught Speeding
- Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: ...
- Speeding
- Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I ...
- Old man
- Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman who was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 ...
- The Devil
- One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went ...
- The Devil
- One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local ...
- Confession
- An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for ...
- 50/50
- A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's.
He noticed that they had ...
- Speeding
- A Woman Gets Pulled Over by a Police Officer and....
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
- Florida Beach
- Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and ...
