jokes about school

 as seen in a local supermarket #school #knives
A police officer caught beating kids on college campus
I dont want to go to school #teacher
girl matches the school bathroom
to this day the boy bullying me at school still takes my lunch money
School spelling mistake
get through school without getting pregnant
cartoon of kids in school with trap door under their table
School Joke
As a pre-med student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in ...
Late for School
Teacher to Student: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What ...
Concept
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely ...
Student
A student is talking to his teacher. Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?" ...
Bathroom
student: may i use the bathroom? Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet. Student: ...
Give
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what ...
Water
Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?" Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you ...
One-Armed Jock
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their ...
Stimulus bill
Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't ...
Beautiful
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student ...
No Excuse
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any ...
Little Johnny
Little Johnny skipped school one day and since his house was next to his school, the teacher ...
Mets Fans
On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?" Every student ...
Next Generation
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to ...
Life on other planet
Student: Please Sir! Did you hear that scientists have found life on another planet? Teacher: ...
School
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school. "If you ...
College
After eight years in college, there is one Aggie student who still can't seem to get himself ...
Breakfast
At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, ...
Aspiring Psychiatrists
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to ...
Half
Teacher: Class, this morning, we will have only half a day of school. Class: Yaaaaay! Teacher: ...
Bird
Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly." ...
Book
Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in ...
Little Mary
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day ...
Homework
Q. Why did the student eat his homework? ...
The P
It was a average day in Bobby's first grade class. Around 11:00 he had to go to the bathroom, so he ...
Med School
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human ...
A Study
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of ...
Questions
There is this third grade class with this kid named Rotten Reggie in it. One day, the teacher ...
In Common
Q: What do an old person, a Mexican man, and a high school student close to graduation have in ...
Late
“It was terrible”, moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late. “I left with ...
Half
Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. ...
Miss Franny
A school headmaster had interviewed, and offered a job to a lady teacher called Miss Franny. He ...
Present Tense
Teacher: "What is the present tense for the sentence 'I killed someone'?" Student: "The present ...
Church on Sunday
A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday. He seemed a little depressed, so ...
Birds
Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before ...
School
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really ...
Oxygen
A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 17 ...
Homework
Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework? A: Because their teacher told them it was a ...
Turnip
A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes water?"
Little Johnny ...
Cow and Grass
Teacher: "I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is grass?" Student: " ...
Tenses
The teacher says: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," ...
Unemployment
Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?" "Yes, sir! I'd put all ...
Johnny's back at school
Johnny's back at school The teacher asked, "Class use the word contagious in a sentence." Molly ...
Scots Boy
A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. " ...
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - ...
Exam
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be ...
Birthday Maths
Teacher: "Lean, how old were you on your very last birthday?" Lean: "Seven." Teacher: "Then how ...
Age
A teacher said to her student, "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they ...
Who Knows
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she ...
Involuntary Muscular Contractions
A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical ...
Stapler
Having served his time with the Marine Corps, a man became a school teacher and before school ...
Little Johnny
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really ...
Two high school Sweethearts
two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both ...
Ain't
Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is ...
Teacher vs. Student
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. ...
Paybacks
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; ...
Church
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And ...
Pizza
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his ...
Pepito
A grade school teacher in Las Milpas (somewhere in Texas ) asked her students to use the word " ...
Marriage
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school. She turns to one ...
A Lesson on Socialism
A Lesson on Socialism An economics professor said he had never failed a single student before ...
Students
These are actual comments made on students report cards by teachers in the New York City public ...
Lie
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" ...
Marry
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of ...
At the Bar
There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, " ...
Zero
Teacher: "You got a zero in the last exam." Roger: "I don’t think I deserve a zero!" ...
Explosives
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?” Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made ...
Gifts
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. ...
Sleeping
Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!” Paul to teacher: “I could ...
Question
Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window ...
Mr. Common Sense
Mr. Common Sense Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he ...
America
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, ...
Ten Commandments
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. ...
The Commandment
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. ...
America
Teacher: "Jill, where is the America on the map?" Jill: "Right there, ma'am." Teacher: "Correct. ...
Little Mary
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in her Catholic School.
Usually she slept ...
Fur Coat
Anne went away to college and promptly became an avid animal right activist. When she came home for ...
Cats
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: ...
Composition
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy ...
Whales
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically ...
School answering Machine
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!) This is the ...
Report
Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy? Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring ...
Worms
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so ...
Blonde
What are the blonde's first words after 4 ...
School
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" ...
A Kindergarten teacher
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would ...
Duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck ...
Difficult Class
Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher ...
Christmas
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused ...
Circumcised
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his ...
Millionaire
The teacher said; “Take a pencil and paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a ...
Electric
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake ...
Little Girl
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised ...
A good way to start the day
A good way to start the day Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in ...
The Electric Chair
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in ...
SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest
Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. ...
Supplies
After registering for his high school classes, my son burst into the house, filled with excitement. ...
Old age
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs ...
Full
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, ...

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