jokes about religion

If this goes right, they thank Jesus
Stairway to Heaven or Highway to Hell
jesus
Well, time to checked who shared that post #jesus
Floppy disks are like Jesus
1 like is 1 prayer #jesus #hell
if finally happened #hell #freezes
it finally happened #hell #frozen
Never been insulted #god #christians
dog is glad youre home The Christmas tree fainted
Jesus is working in mysterious ways
dear god is there a meaning
how in the hell do you still have the ball
thank god I brought an umbrella!
creates the universe out of nothing
god seemingly walking on water
god listens to slayer any time
justin bieber lemmy killmister motorhead god
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours ...
Eskimo
An Eskimo being far out in the wild did not know about religion and god etc. A priest tells him ...
Heaven or Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you' ...
Christmas
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused ...
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had ...
An engineer in Hell
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and ...
Jezus
A man gets drunk and stumbles straight into a baptism being performed on the river bank. The ...
The Bear
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the ...
Greek God
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. ...
Engineer
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you' ...
Heaven vs. Hell
One night, God visits a preacher. The preacher has one question, "What is Heaven like?" God ...
Heaven
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go ...
Smoke and Pray
Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to ...
Bartender
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender ...
Poison
A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you ...
Father Murphy
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
Father Murphy
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go ...
Jesus' Multi-Ethnicity
Proof that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into his father's business. 2. He lived at home until the ...
Church Finances
A Mormon Family, one Monday evening, sat around the fire place and was discussing Church Finances, ...
Heaven
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? ...
Hell
Three dead men go to hell at the same time. There is a white man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man. ...
Where is God?
Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood ...
Sip the Vodka
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the ...
Two Brothers
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His ...
God Created
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in ...
Religious Humor
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were ...
Two Brothers
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into ...
Funeral
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi ...
The Pope and Tiger Woods
The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went ...
The Devil
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went ...
The Devil
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local ...
An Irish Priest
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The ...
Jezus
An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee shop and sees Jesus sitting in the corner ...
The world's first Professional
A doctor, and engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world's first professional. ...
Jesus
A Drunk man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing ...
Three Nuns
Three nuns stand at the Pealry Gates of Heaven, and Saint Peter turns to them and explains that ...
Heaven and Hell
Heaven is Where: the Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the ...
Catholic
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his ...
Dead Dog
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom ...
Satan
Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his ...
Just water
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The ...
Innovative Ideas
The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the ...
A nun and a priest
A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they ...
Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that ...
Panties
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up ...
Catholic Coffee Morning
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first ...
Preacher's Ass
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, on being told that there was a fortune in ...
Heaven or Hell
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed ...
Jezus
Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and ...
Yo Momma
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell ...
Little Mary
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day ...
Ass
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse ...
Married in heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The ...
30 more Years
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I ...
Jesus is watching you
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching ...
Little Mary
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in her Catholic School.
Usually she slept ...
God
Three women dies for some unknown reason, they don't know each other. We can call them Sara, Jenna ...
Yo momma So Old Collection
Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake. Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
Honda
Mr Honda, of the Honda Motor Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgement. At the gates, St. ...
The Confession
Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery. "Oh, no," said ...
Dear grandson
Dear Grand-son, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you ...
The Twenty and The One
There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal ...
Bill Gates
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you ...
5 minute management course 2
5 minute management course Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed ...
Antartian
An Antartian died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new ...
Nine Is Enough
Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest. He ...
Lemon Squeeze
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, ...
Drunk
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. ...
Dead
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of ...
Heaven or Hell
While walking down the street one day, a political head of state is tragically hit by a truck and ...
God
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all ...
Adam
God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins to lament. "God I'm lonely, I need a companion?" ...
100 Years Old
This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above "You will ...
God
Mommy, do you know if God has to go to the toilet too? No child. Of course not. What makes you ...
What is God?
A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?" After thinking for a moment, his ...
Jesus and Moses
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; ...
Devil
Not many people know it, but the Devil actually wears a wig. You'd never know if you weren't told - ...
An Atheist Walking Through The Woods...
An atheist was walking through the woods... when he stopped and thought: "What majestic trees! What ...
Donation
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with ...
Absent
Harry walked over to the Priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary ...
An old cop named Murphy
MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost." ...
Baseball
Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is ...
Your man vs God
A young man once asked God how long a million years was to him.
God replied, "A million years ...
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, ...
God created
God may have created man before woman, but there ...
Three Guys Go to Heaven
Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter. "So," Peter asks the ...
My Bike
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he ...
An elderly Priest
An elderly priest made it a practice to visit the parish school once a week. he walked into the 4 ...
HR Director
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director was tragically hit by a bus ...
The Senator
While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed. His soul ...
Confession
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for ...
Riches
There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for ...
Service
One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the ...
A Miracle
One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and ...
Jezus
A burglar broke into a house one Christmas night looking for presents when the family was not home. ...
Two Priests
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...
The Big Flood
It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose ...
Pearly Gates
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates ...
Drunk
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no ...
Born a Baptist
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, ...

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