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jokes about music
Drums
A jungle explorer hears drums every night. He asks his native guide what the drums are all about. ...
Singer
What do you call a ...
Music
What is a Monarchist’s least ...
Piano
What do you get if a piano falls ...
Piano
The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the ...
Guitar jokes
Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the ...
Guitar Attack
I was in the bar last night and this guy said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of ...
Tuna
Father: What is the difference between a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue? daughter :i dont know ...
Willie Nelson
Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker, and a ...
Sad Music
What kind of music do ...
Country Song
What happens when you play a country song ...
Dog Song
The official dogs’ song? “Every snack you take, every food you make, every can you shake, ...
Great Music
My neighbours listen to great ...
Great Music
My neighbors are listening to great ...
Music
My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. " ...
Song
There was this old woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses." She called up ...
Pink Floyd
The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in a car wreck and all three die. They are standing ...
A newly wed couple
A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the ...
Guitar
If there are guitarists here who want to know the secret to making their instrument sound better, ...
No money for a drink
A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way. I don't ...
Tortilla
I wrote a song about a tortilla. ...
Funny Day
I’s been a funny day so far.. First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry ...
Guitars
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, " ...
Fart
You are blonde and on a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud. So every ...
Frog and Hamster
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. ...
Easter Bunny
Which music do Easter ...
Beethoven Symphonies
Beethoven Symphonies A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he ...
Justin Bieber
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" ...
Lettuce
What’s the difference between a bowl of moldy lettuce and a depressing song? One is a bad ...
Bolt
Why can't Usain Bolt listen to music while ...
Riding a Bicycle
What do you call a person riding a ...
National Anthems
What genre are national ...
Busker
A busker stands on the street corner playing his guitar, when a policeman comes and demands to see ...
Tickets
Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their ...
Ghost
A man comes into a bar, orders a beer and takes out of a bag a tiny piano and a 10 inch high man. ...
Windmills
Two giant windmills are standing in a field, one turns to the other and asks, “what kind of music ...
Some reasons why the English language is hard to learn...
The bandage was wound around the wound. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so ...
Turbines
Two wind turbines are standing in a field. One says to the other, "What kind of music do you like?" ...
Defining Teenagers
A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. ...
Why English Is Hard To Learn
Why English Is Hard To Learn Youve gotta admit, its a pretty stupid language. Id hate to be a ...
Scottish Sympathie
Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more ...
Beer Troubleshooting
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so ...
Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip. 9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a ...
Cowboy
In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the ...
Marriage
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a ...
The Blind Salesman
A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't ...
Weeweechu
It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now, ...
Morning Poem
I woke early one morning, The earth lay cool and still When suddenly a tiny bird ...
People
Q: Why did the opera singer go sailing? A: She wanted to hit the high Cs. Q: Why did the ...
Christmas Jokes 4
16. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph. 17. How is Christmas exactly like your ...
Fishing Story
I went fishing this weekend, but after a short time I ran out of bait. Then I saw a cotton-mouth ...
Weeweechu
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ...
Bragging Sons
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad ...
Ponderings 1
Ponderings If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If the #2 ...
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat handle comb in the back pocket was cool. 2. In ...
Top Ten Country Western Songs
Top Ten Country Western Songs 10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine. 9. I Ain't Never ...
Yo Momma part 1
Yo momma's so big, her belly button's got an echo. Yo momma's so big, they had to paint a ...
Church on Sunday
A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday. He seemed a little depressed, so ...
Punny Christmas Jokes 2
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown. Why are elves such great ...
Nature
Q: How does the ocean say hello? A: It waves. Q: What's the worst thing about throwing a party ...
New Drugs for Women
DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ...
Even More Christmas Jokes
11. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house! 12. How do you help ...
Signs of the 21st Century
-- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. -- You have a list of 20 phone ...
Christmas Jokes
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Even More Quips
With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular ...
Virginity
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run ...
Diary
DIARY: DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really ...
List 1
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow! ...
Excuse
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
A Man who lost one of his Arms
There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had ...
Christmas
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Top 17 Country Songs
Top 17 Country Songs 17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 16. It's Hard To Kiss the ...
Beethoven
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.A couple days later, the town drunk was ...
Ways to spice up a boring Party
Speak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you ...
Antartian
An Antartian died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new ...
Wives
Wives When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -David ...
Survivor Show
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show? * 6 men will be dropped on an island with ...
Frank who?
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it was going by. He gets into the taxi, ...
The Nun and Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was ...
The Love Dress
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked ...
The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse ...
LEXIPHILES
LEXIPHILES A lexiphile is a lover of words, in other words, people who are fascinated by words and ...
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let ...
Irish Radio
On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan who has been running the "Just-a-Minute quiz" ...
English is easy???
You think English is easy??? Read to the end .. . . A new twist 1) The bandage was wound ...
Food and Country
Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food. I was Russian to the fridge, ...
More Christmas Jokes
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers or Brrrr-itos! When is a boat just like snow? When ...
Medications
new medications for women only
DAMNITOL, Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for ...
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute: 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him ...
I love you - kids point of view
---Can you say "I love you" any better? What Love means to a group of 4-8 year olds . . Slow down ...
Some things to ponder
Some things to ponder 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2 ...
The Pink and White joke.
There once was a man, and everything he owned was pink and white. He had a pink and white car, a ...
F*cking
An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one ...
Pizza Fun
100 ways to order a pizza the fun way... 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ...
Fast Food Fun
Fast Food Fun Haven't you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering that burrito or ...
Cowboy rules
Cowboy rules for: Arizona, Texas , Oklahoma, Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah ...
Riddles
Q. What's white and goes up? A. A confused snowflake! Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be? ...
Glorious Insults
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great ...
Over 50
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all ...
WD-40
I had a neighbor who had bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that ...
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