jokes about marriage

Every time you talk to your wife
My wife says I cant have another dog
My wife gave me 200 dollars for a Christmas tree
My son asked what it is like to be married #ipod
A wife is like a hand granade
When your wife asks you to make a grocery list
Your wife called and said #buy #motor
A picture of darth vaders wife
Old people at weddings always say youre next at wedding #funeral
my wife is weird #conversation #angry
Math made simple if you have $20 #wife
Machine takes money #ex #wife
comparing boys and girls #single #married
overenthusiastic girlfriend is bad news #marriage
men submissive to woman
Every man has this look when his wife is driving
wedding ring making lady cry
my wife isnt thrilled about my new game
sick wife carry to kitchen to make breakfast
wife of the year carring case of Budweiser through the snow
santa explaining his wife he saw his old girlfriend
guy stealing drink dancing couple
Married
A year after marriage, wife complains to husband that he promised he would love her the same even ...
Marriage Counselor
One day a couple visited a marriage counselor about their children. The wife says to the marriage ...
Marriage
Two antennas's decided one day to get married. The wedding wasn't that good but the reception was ...
Married Couple
This married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table ...
Marriage Humour
Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our ...
When I die?
WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why ...
Marriage
A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was ...
Marriage Couseling
At a BBQ a couple was chatting with some guests when the marriage counseling topic came up. The ...
Wives and Husbands and more
Wives and Husbands and more Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: "Nothing." Wife: "Nothing...? ...
More Wives
More Wives I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn' ...
Notice
A newly married husband puts a notice in front of his home. For Sale: computer and encyclopedia, ...
A married couple in their early 60s
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, ...
Marriage Seminar
MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife ...
Two choices in Life
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, Or get married and wish you ...
Marriage
Man is incomplete until he’s ...
The millionaire husband
Man 1: I became a millionaire after marriage. Man 2: Wow! Your wife has sure bought lots of luck ...
A young Couple
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife ...
Happy
“Now, that looks like a happily married couple.” Remarks the husband. “Don’t be too sure, ...
Married...how many?
A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. "I know ...
Fortune
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a ...
Marriage
A married couple, both avid golfers, was discussing the future one night. "Honey", the wife said, " ...
Husband and wife
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as ...
Married
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. ...
Marriage
While attending a Marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to ...
Married Couple
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and was blessed with 22 ...
More Marriage
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! ...
Marriage
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a ...
Married
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: ...
Wives
Wives When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -David ...
Turned Down
A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it ...
Marriage
The local news station was interviewing an 84-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- ...
Marriage
My son wanted to know what it's like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I ...
Bachelors
Bachelors know more about women than married ...
Married Men
They say that married men live longest. It's ...
Remarried
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. ...
Wife Jokes
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever ...
Fairy
A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a ...
Golden Wedding
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long ...
Divorce in Heaven
There was a couple who was about to get married. Before the wedding, they had a tragic accident and ...
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage
The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage. A couple was celebrating their golden wedding ...
Married
A man is incomplete until he is ...
Irish Wedding Reception
At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled: "Would all the married men please stand next tot the ...
Golf Ball
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his ...
Scottish Wedding
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled... "Would all married men please stand next to ...
Married Lives
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that ...
Married
A man is incomplete until he is ...
Wedding Anniversary
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his ...
Married
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
Getting Married
"My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married. She keeps asking me if I can support her, ...
Wedding Ring
A lady noticed her friend was wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger so she asked, "Why are ...
Getting Married
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, ...
Pulling his Pud
A farmer finds his son behind the barn pulling his pud, and the old man exclaims, "Son, if you are ...
Old Friends
A fellow was invited to the home of some old friends for dinner. His buddy preceded every request ...
Reading a book
A married couple was lying in bed one night. The wife is all curled up, ready to go to sleep, as ...
Sexual Positions
It has been studied and determined that the most often used Sexual position for married couples ...
A marriage Counselor
A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counselor. The ...
Love and Marriage
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. - Elizabeth Ashley Many a ...
Marry
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of ...
Old couple getting married
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to ...
A newly wed Couple
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
Pre-marriage questionnaire Form
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young ...
Married in heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The ...
Wedding Anniversary
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
Ring
Marriage is a three-ring circus: ...
A former Prostitute
A former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been somewhat stretched is given a ...
Marriage
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing ...
Counseling
After 20 years of marriage a husband and wife go to counseling. When asked what the problem is, the ...
Doing it in the Dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband ...
Whos your daddy?
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
Wife vs Husband
WIFE VS HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An ...
Headstone
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband ...
Never Argued
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," ...
My Wife
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not ...
Pictures
On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the ...
Date
A man and a woman are having a date. The woman remarks, “You know, you look totally like my ...
Perfect Marriage
RED SKELTON'S Recipe for the Perfect Marriage: 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, ...
Supper
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? ...
Grill
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the ...
Last Word
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that ...
Marriage
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the ...
An Irish Point of View on the Election race..
An Irish Point of View on the Election race.. We, in Ireland , can't figure out why people are ...
Very elderly Widow
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ' ...
He said, She said
He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. I said to ...
Halloween
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, ...
Describe Me
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" ...
The Wife
* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's on the TV?'' I said, ''Dust!'' * In the ...
Virgin
A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she was not, as her fiance thought, a ...
Married
A man and woman are standing at the altar, about to be married, when the bride-to-be looks at her ...
Married for 50 years
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when ...
Husband and Wife
Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife? "Without Infomation Fighting Everytime". Wife on ...
Newly weds
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband ...
If I died
Woman: Would you get married again if I died? Man: Definitely not! Woman: Why not -- don't you ...
The Wishing Well
A married couple walks up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. ...
Widow
Three hicks were working on a telephone tower - Ted, Bruce and Jed. Ted falls off and is killed ...
What is Celibacy?
What is Celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. ...
Kids
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 2 ...
Accident
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor ...
Religion
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I ...
Arguement
During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place.
"I ...

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