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Dating
When Magnesium and Oxygen ...
Dating
I recently started dating an archaeologist. ...
Dating
I've been dating women in alphabetical order. My current girlfriend, Yvette, is convinced I'll ...
Choice
If I were to choose between dating and eating a soup – I think I’d rather eat the soup. Not ...
Dating
Dating in your 30's is like registering a domain name...The good ones are all taken. But you can ...
Dating
So I've joined a new dating agency for arsonists. They send me new matches every day, so ...
Driving and Dating
What do driving and dating have in common? Both end up with you being chased by the police if ...
In Love
Daughter: "Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in ...
Dating
I dated a woman with really bad narcolepsy. It ...
Salad
Did you hear what the salad said to the dressing when their dating got more serious? Lettuce get ...
Love
I like the guy who wrote "What Is ...
Love Boat
What's the closest synonym to ...
Love
“Honey what do you love most about me? My toned body or my charming face?” “Your sense of ...
Love
Ah! Yes, love is blind, and ...
Love
To prove his love for her, he swam the deepest river, crossed the widest desert and climbed the ...
Favorite Hashtags on Dating
#GeekPickupLines: My name’s Microsoft … can I crash at your place tonight? @ ...
Dear dad
Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think ...
A Mom
A mom texts, “Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?” He texts back, “I don’t know, love ...
Will you still Love me?
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed ...
Son vs Dad
Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $ ...
Sad Love Stories
Math tells us three of the saddest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and ...
Make Love?
He'd shown her his etchings and just about everything else of interest in his apartment, and as ...
Love Lines?
Love Lines? I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses ...
Love
A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you ...
Married
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" You haven't asked yet. ...
Rich Boy's nose cut
A rich but spoilt boy fell in love with a girl and showered her with gifts though she didn't ...
If Men Ruled the World... Dating
-- Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards. -- If your girlfriend really ...
The Love Story of Ralph and Edna
THE LOVE STORY OF RALPH & EDNA Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, ...
Love and Marriage
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes. - Elizabeth Ashley Many a ...
Ghosts
Why do ghosts like to stay in hotels? ...
I love you - kids point of view
---Can you say "I love you" any better? What Love means to a group of 4-8 year olds . . Slow down ...
Pirate
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You ...
Atennas
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the ...
Tennis Players
Don’t date tennis players. ...
Windows
Arnold Schwarzenegger has released a statement saying he won’t be upgrading to Windows 10... He ...
The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's ...
The Love Dress
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked ...
Pirate
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You ...
A Blonde
Guy is in a bar and strikes up a conversation with a dumb blond. "I'm curious, do you smoke after ...
Birthday present
A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been ...
French
As an English person there's one thing I love ...
Not so Nice
It’s amazing you love nature so ...
Tennis Player
Never give your heart to a tennis ...
Happy Couple
Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet ...
Friends
Having trouble making friends? Just tell a girl you love her and her first reaction is to say lets ...
Doing the Sixty-Eight
While making love, he says: - Darling, let's do 68! - 68??? What's that? - You do it to me and I' ...
Garden of Living
FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING, PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS : 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace ...
Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a ...
Penny Stamp
I used a penny stamp to mail a love note. But instead of writing it, I only sprayed it with my ...
Star Spangled Banner
I love the Star Spangled Banner. I just don't get the beginning line. Who is Jose? And why do we ...
Hell
one day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first ...
Wedding
GONNA WATCH MY WEDDING VIDEO LATER ON....BACKWARDS! COZ I LOVE THE END BIT WHERE SHE TAKES THE ...
Love
I was talking to my friend Joe the other day and he said "Do you know, I've loved the same woman ...
Italian Tomato Garden
Italian Tomato Garden: An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his ...
Copper Wire
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire ...
Jog
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“ Wife: “Hahaha, ...
Wish
A man rubbed a bottle and a genie came out, “OK the genie said what’s your wish” The man said ...
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let ...
Married
A year after marriage, wife complains to husband that he promised he would love her the same even ...
Diamonds
My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her ...
The true meaning of male statements
Statement: "I'm a Romantic." True Meaning: "I'm poor." Statement: "You're the only girl I've ...
Lovely Weather
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“ Wife: “Hahaha, ...
Mariah Carey
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I ...
A newly wed Couple
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, ...
Good, Bad and Ugly
1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago. ...
Happiness
HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be ...
Farmer
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained ...
A prayer
A woman's prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; ...
Farmer
"I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss us around all day" said the sheep "What ...
New Pilot
A new pilot has his first day in a real cockpit and he asks the pilot... "Wow, there's so many ...
Wine
A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “ ...
Brother
Be the kind of man that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, He's up!" ...
A good way to start the day
A good way to start the day Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in ...
Biggest Lies
The check is in the mail. I'll respect you in the morning. I'm from your government, and I am ...
Car won't Start
Wife calls her husband and says, “Darling, the car is broken, it won’t start.” “What?! It ...
Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama
Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama: 1. Take into account that great ...
Spinster
Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that she went to a local newspaper office and ...
Dear grandson
Dear Grand-son, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you ...
Valentine's Day Cards
These rejected Valentine's Day cards somehow never made it to store shelves, I wonder why? I ...
Arguement
During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place.
"I ...
GRANDMA as a Senior Driver
GRANDMA as a Senior Driver The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a ' ...
Christmas Jokes 2
6. Why did Frosty ask for a divorce? His wife was a total flake. 7. Why does Scrooge love ...
More Christmas Jokes
6. Why did Frosty ask for a divorce? His wife was a total flake. 7. Why does Scrooge love ...
You finish?
A virile, young Italian gentleman was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to ...
A robin
As I awoke this morning, as all sweet things are born A robin perched upon my sill, the sign of a ...
Thai bride
An old man is just back from Thailand with his new Thai bride. Lying in bed,his new bride is ...
French Maid
A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He ...
Apple
A doctor and an engineer loved the same girl. Doctor used to give her a rose daily and engineer ...
Glasgow Rangers
Glasgow Rangers manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play Football and is suitably ...
A horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!" The bartender, rubbing ...
Diary
1. HER DIARY Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to ...
Bumper stickers
I love animals, they taste great. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. " ...
Leftovers
âOh no! not leftovers again!â complained my older sister when she saw the leftover meatloaf on ...
Southern Women
The owner of a golf course in North Carolina was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided ...
Dog Talk
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good- ...
Devil
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " ...
Valentine Cards
A young guy walks into a post office and sees a middleâaged, balding man standing at the counter ...
Fans
A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his ...
Trivial Pursuit
A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him what the problem is. "My life is awful," ...
40th Wedding Anniversary
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their ...
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