jokes about job

Sometimes the best thing about my job is
A womans work is never done
This is crowd surfing like a boss #concert #music
the first 5 days #work
IKEA job interview #seat
Adam is looking for a job #billboard
the difference between a boss and a leader
this stuff doesnt work #dog
These will definitely work! #bacardi #vodka
I you werent so stupid #job
Dog failing like a boss jumping a fence
sorry I cant go to work today I fractured my motivation
motion sensors at work
guy gaming at work having to fight boss
T-rex has too tiny arms to change the water bottle
Horn taped under chair
we all know that guy doing nothing while others work
mondays arent so bad its your job that sucks
space mountain thrillride
More Jobs
"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had ten ...
Office Arithmatic
OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production ...
Job
My boss told me yesterday, “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. ...
Late for work!
He just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10 minutes late. But he was a good ...
The Boss
The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. ...
Help the Wife
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some ...
Work
At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the ...
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I ...
New Job
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as ...
Sick Day
A man calls in to work. "I can't come in today.." The boss says, "Why what's wrong?" " My ...
New Job
Pat and Mick have just started their job installing telegraph poles. At the end of the first week ...
The Boss
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the ...
Discipline
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being ...
Work
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could ...
Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a ...
Life after Death
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk ...
Excuse
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting ...
The Boss
The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one ...
Overpaid
An employee approached his boss regarding a dispute on his pay-check… Employee – Sir, this is ...
Black eyes
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, ...
Girlfriend
A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn ...
Boss
My nephew was in the bathroom shaving when the phone rang, so 
his four-year-old daughter, ...
The boss calls
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an ...
A few Days off
I decided that I needed a few days off and realized that I had run out of vacation time already. ...
A young guy from Missouri
A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under the roof department ...
Fishing
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go ...
Bubba
Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is ...
Prison
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards ...
The pretty young secretary
The pretty young secretary had been transferred to the companys Dallas office. "We operate the ...
Office Game
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office ...
Thermos
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops ...
Responsibility
My boss decided to give me some more responsibility. From now on, I'm responsible for everything ...
You Do The Math...
You Do The Math... ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb ...
The Shredder
A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front ...
Camping
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. ...
Divorced
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Divorced
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. ...
Cracking the Human Resource Code
COMPETITIVE SALARY Most of our competitors don't pay much either. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" ...
Older Years of Resolutions...
RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at ...
Understanting Help Wanted Ads
Understanting Help Wanted Ads What we say:Competitive Salary What we mean: We remain ...
Company Bulletin Board
Sign on company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets ...
Software
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software ...
Memo from Accounting Department
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that ...
Why I fired my Secretary
Why I fired my Secretary Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that ...
At Work
Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he ...
Paint the Porch
A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. After a couple weeks with no luck, ...
Lay off
A company boss has to decide who to lay off. He decides on two low level management employees Jack ...
Computer
Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to ...
At a Bistro
A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in ...
Zoo
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a ...
Homeless
I had an encounter with a homeless man last year that I'll never forget. That day, my boss ...
Married
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when ...
Top 10 SIGNS your family is STRESSED...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk". 9. The school ...
50-50
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,â ...
Work
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two ...
Job
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one ...
How to Please Your I.T. Department
01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of ...
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with ...
5 minute management course 3
5 minute management course Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are ...
Newest son-in-law
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I ...
Number 11
This is the story of a man who has a pretty classic life. Single, he has a normal job in a bank, ...
Job
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's ...
Kids Jokes
Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India. Boss: Which part? Sardarji: What do you mean which ...
Job Interview
Job interview in a psychiatry: So you’re interested in working with us. What is your ...
Duck
A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a ...
Blonde Line Painter
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line ...
The Wine Tester
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to ...
Drinking At Work
Here's a few great reasons to allow drinking in the workplace... 1. It's an incentive to show up. ...
Different
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, ...
Dilbert Quotes
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes ...
Stopping by the Office
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with ...
Work
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with ...
More blondes 12
Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright, they're grand. Q: What do you call ...
Tired
For a couple years I 've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but ...
Biker
A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker ...
Why athletes cannot hold real jobs
Why athletes cannot hold real jobs New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the ...
Biker Trouble
A guy was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next ...
All the organs
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. " ...
You know you're living in 2004 when...
You know you're living in 2004 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. ...
Evaluation Comments
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really ...
At Work
At work A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be ...
Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee ...
Watchman
A man is being interviewed for a job. “What are your qualifications for the job of night ...
Actual Job Interviews
We’ve been over this before: 
Stupid doesn’t play well on job interviews. Hiring managers ...
Hate your Job?
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called ...
Shovels
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten ...
Einstein
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself ...
Blond Job
A blond walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few ...
Why Men Can't Win
Why Men Can't Win If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work ...
Parrots
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section ...
Bored?
Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. ...
Job Interview
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting ...
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't
Ten Top Things That Sound Dirty At The Office, But Aren't: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. ...
Spy
A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given ...
Lemons
A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed too qualified for the job. 'Look ...
Loudspeaker
A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it ...
Understanding Engineers
Understanding Engineers - Take One: Two engineering students were walking across a university ...
Don't argue with a Vet!!
I got this story sent: One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the ...
Work
They say good, honest work never did anybody any ...

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