jokes about food

this restaurant has a good idea for kids menus
Eat whatever you want #lecture #kid
The strong independent women aisle #wine #cat #food
Marry someone who knows how to cook
This ET doesnt phone home anymore #barbecue
A women is asked what she would like as her last meal
Have you ever tried to ear a clock
Sorry, we cant send help, everybody quit #minimum #wages #mcdonald
Finally, a vegan gluten free soy free antibiotics free raw organic fat free low carb meal #ice
Eminem eating M&Ms
A fun prank to play on a passed out vegan #food
this angry barbecue hates winter
Stop asking about your cat, try the chicken #chinese #restaurant
How to cook a turkey with a glass of wine
Pizza with extra sausage #dog
this is what true love really looks like #pizza
No one should eat this before 8! #after #eight
I dont normally cook #mashed #potatoes #vodka
a lot of people died #food
How to cook stake #medium #rare #well #done
I have 10 pieces of bacon and you take 5 #broken #hand
Promises a bar makes #thirsty #hungry #lonely #beer #drunk #food
Perfect timed pic of a dog eating a cookie #timing
valentine card for haters #bacon
guys order a giant pizza and a diet coke
Swedish Chef from the muppets doesnt herdy dur mur
awkward moment when you started eating and someone starts praying
beer, because you can not drink bacon
Halloween buffet man out of sausages food
heating up liitle pig bacon
Eat more Chicken
A real BarbieQ
what did you eat
guy using iron to heat his food
2 dollars make it a meal
two birds fighting over food
valentins day in Texas can only be a giant heart-shaped steak
becoming vegetarian is a huge missed steak
date the food cans
halloween pumpking eating another
always check your surroundings when eating a corndog
restaurant doesnt have wifi talk to each other
miley eat a snickers
bed and breakfast dog in food bowl
dog pig bacon
dirty baby eating pie
two cats eating the hard way
meanwhile on mars alien eating earth
dog with cookies on his head not eating self control
dog fail food poster
dog grill sausage licked
BBQ Rules
BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory ...
Dirty Meal
A guy orders spaghetti in a restaurant. In the middle of eating he finds a hair in his food. He ...
Grill
There’s that moment when you put your steak on the grill and your mouth waters all over from that ...
Cannibal Restaurant
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. ...
Food in the West
On the Oregon trail a group of cowboys are on their way to the West. In the group of 20 or so, one ...
Big butt
A man and his wife were doing yard work. The husband said to his wife, "Gee, honey, your butt is as ...
Fast Food
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. ...
Fat Guy
A fat man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a ...
An elderly couple
An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries ...
Food
That awkward moment when your girlfriend says she’s not hungry but ends up eating half of your ...
Star Wars
Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. Luke scans the menu and sees his ...
Hamburger
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to ...
Born a Baptist
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, ...
50/50
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ...
Prayers
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't ...
Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing
It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the ...
Roaches
So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey ...
How Fights Start 5
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. "I'll have the ...
Food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.. 'The material we put into our stomachs is ...
Bad Food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough ...
Restaurant
A signboard outside a restaurant said: "Eat as much as you can and let your grandchildren pay the ...
Idiot
“I’d like to order a bar pizza,” the idiot says. “Shall I ask them to cut it into six or ...
Restaurant
There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said "The ...
Texas
Texas rancher and his wife were arguing while touring Paris. They were hardly speaking to each ...
Cool Dad
Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. The first one says, "My ...
Shot
Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before ...
Cannibal
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. ...
Grill
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the ...
Older Folks 3.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table ...
Misunderstanding
Jim was in a bad mood, and anyone who got in is way was going to regret it. Jim walked into his ...
A Trucker
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a ...
The truck stop
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, I want three flat tires, a ...
Pizza
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his ...
Product Warnings 2
Product Warnings Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant Use ...
Eating Grass
A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. ...
Another Affair
A man walks into a nightclub one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. Certainly, Sir, ...
Math
Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can ...
German Food
What did the critic think of German ...
Men
What is the thinnest book in the world? What men know about women! Why don't men eat more M & M' ...
Anniversary
Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary 10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you ...
Man of the house
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE. He ...
You might be a college student if . .
1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student. 2. If you live ...
Food
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a ...
Dear for Dinner
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won' ...
eating
Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's ...
Southern FOLKS
Southern FOLKS know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity Southern FOLKS ...
Eat
This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally ...
Marriage Couseling
At a BBQ a couple was chatting with some guests when the marriage counseling topic came up. The ...
Pie
Eating too much is a sin. Except eating ...
Chili
A guy sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili. The waitress says, "Sorry, but the ...
PhD
After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut ...
Older folks 6.
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?" "Yep!" " ...
Fast Food Fun
Fast Food Fun Haven't you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering that burrito or ...
Arkansas's Rules
Arkansas's Rules 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Let's get this ...
Survivor Show
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show? * 6 men will be dropped on an island with ...
Breakfast
At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, ...
Dead
3 men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died. The other 3 decided that the only ...
Holiday Eating Tips - For The Sane
I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but ...
Chicken
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't ...
Riddles
Q. What's white and goes up? A. A confused snowflake! Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be? ...
Woman vs Man
Woman: "No, I'm telling you, I'm right! He couldn't eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit, ...
A blind Man
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to ...
Old Friends
Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade. Utkarsh: "What ...
Six again
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On ...
Waitress
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three ...
Kids
Last week, I took my grand-children to a restaurant. My six-year-old grand-son asked if he could ...
Korean Food
I ran into a buddy coming back from lunch. We got on the elevator with some broad who works on one ...
Six again
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the ...
Short Jokes
How do you drown a Hipster? In the mainstream. How did the barber win the race? He knew a ...
Smoking
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so ...
Daddy's Gonna Eat Your Fingers
Daddy's Gonna Eat Your Fingers I was packing for my business trip and my 3-year old daughter was ...
A Frat
A frat boy gets into the back of a cab and asks the cabbie, "Do you have enough room up there for a ...
Dog's and Cat's Diary
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A ...
More blondes 7
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, ...
Yo Momma part 2
Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac Yo momma's so fat, when we played ...
Karma
Q: Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma? A: There’s no menu; you get what you ...
Lord
A religious women upon waking up each morning would open her front door stand on the porch and ...
Physician
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4 yr. old daughter. On ...
Give
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what ...
Yearly Physical
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol ...
Eat
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good ...
Texas has it all Part 1
Texas has it all Part 1 Feeling a litle Down?- Why not Visit Smiley , Texas 78159 Paradise , ...
Old Couples
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of ...
More blondes 2
Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor? She thought it was pregnant because it ...
Cold Water
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After ...
The Pay Raise
The Pay Raise Our Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. My wife was very ...
Sandwiches
Two men went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out ...
Cooking
My wife’s cooking is so bad ...
Farm
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his ...
Meeting
A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully ...
Sandwich
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The ...
Retirement
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to ...
Dog
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, Dallas and Smokey, at Wal- ...
Lamb
A man walks into his local butcher's shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had ...
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using ...
Dog dictionary
a. Toilet bowl: A heavenly dispenser of nice, fresh water. b. Hearing: A variable skill. ...
Words of Wisdom from Kids
Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I ...
Product Warnings 3
PRODUCT WARNINGS Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: ...
Shoes or Boots
A psychiatrist was trying to comfort a new patient who was terribly upset. "You see, Doc," the ...
Cats
"I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I ...

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