jokes about doctors
- Doctor VS Druggist
- An older man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change ...
- Hospital
- A man walks into a hospital ward and starts inspecting the bed charts.
A doctor notices this and ...
- A snakes new glasses
- "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The doc fixes him up with a pair ...
- Doctor
- A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
...
- Shaking
- Man goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !" Doctor replies "Do ...
- Hospital
- I was in the hospital bed when a nurse came up to me and said, "Would you like me to inform anyone ...
- Doctor
- Patient: "Doc, you gotta help me. I'm under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people."
...
- Coffee
- A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc., everytime I drink coffee, I get terrible pains in my eye." ...
- Duck Doctor
- Why can’t you trust duck ...
- Psychology
- In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic ...
- Scared blond woman
- A blond takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."
The ...
- Problem
- Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to ...
- Santas Problem
- Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to ...
- Senility
- An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, ...
- An apple a day
- My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patient’s room to draw blood. ...
- Crazy people talk
- A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room.
He ...
- Doctor
- A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!" ...
- Cold
- A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed ...
- How long to live?
- A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the ...
- Fingers
- A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency ...
- Older Folks 8.
- Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw ...
- Shot
- Two buddies go duck hunting. They had been hunting for a while when one had to take a dump. So he ...
- Shoes or Boots
- A psychiatrist was trying to comfort a new patient who was terribly upset.
"You see, Doc," the ...
- Mental Hospital
- There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The ...
- Constipation
- Wilford went to the doctor for constipation. He explained to the doc that it had several days since ...
- A 82-year old Man
- Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor ...
- A man went to the doctor
- He said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll ...
- Poker
- A doctor got a phone call from one of his colleagues. “We need a fourth for poker,” the voice ...
- Sweet Tea
- A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ..
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I ...
- The Cure
- A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four ...
- Drugs
- Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before ...
- Dr. Doctor
- Two doctors opened an office in a small town.
They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, ...
- Cute Blond
- A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute ...
- Doctors
- A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor.
The doctor examined him and explained, " ...
- Nurse
- A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous ...
- Alabama birth control
- A man and and a woman from Alabama don't want any more children because they already have 11. So ...
- Gonorrhea
- "Doc, I think my son has Gonorrhea", a patient told his urologist on the phone. "The only woman he' ...
- Open Window
- “Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient.
“ ...
- Cigars
- A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite ...
- Sunburn
- A man passed out on the beach in Miami for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to ...
- Smaller
- A guy says, "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I'm getting smaller!"
Doctor replies, "Well, ...
- Sick Boy
- A four year old boy was brought to hospital with a terrible cough, high temperature, and vomiting.
...
- Two Doctors
- Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, ...
- Doctor
- Doctor, doctor you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Do you drink a lot?
...
- Disease
- A man goes to the doctor.
Man: "Doctor, I think I have a problem! I can't stop singing What's New ...
- The testicles of a Texas midget
- The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor ...
- Wax
- The pretty co-ed nervously asked the doctor to perform an unusual operation: the removal of a large ...
- Older Folks 4.
- Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as ...
- Old couple getting married
- Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida ,
are all excited about their decision to ...
- Lubricant
- Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to ...
- Blond
- Q: Why did the blond tip toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping ...
- dream
- Mr. Geraldo says to his doctor, "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was ...
- Whos your daddy?
- A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
- The Late Tommy Cooper--Comic
- The Late Tommy Cooper--Comic
1. Two blondes walked into a building... you'd think at least one ...
- Hillbilly
- A Forty -Year -Old hillbilly carries a younger hillbilly into the doctors office, deposited him on ...
- Erectile Dysfunction
- On my 60th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a ...
- Shopping
- A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the ...
- Six Months to live
- A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I ...
- Lord Nelson
- The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British ...
- Pregnant
- A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day ...
- Doctor
- She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go…
He: Just call in ...
- Commit suicide
- A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger ...
- Mental Hospital
- I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13.. ...
- Stupid
- A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, " ...
- Upset Pirate
- A pirate goes to see his doctor on account that he's been feeling down and depressed after losing ...
- Overweight
- Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight.
These, of course, are ...
- The New Doctor in Town
- A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older ...
- A 86-year-old man
- A 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up....
The doctor asked him how he ...
- Hiccups
- A woman went to her doctor’s office with a seemingly incurable case of hiccups.
A new doctor ...
- Cucumber
- A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a ...
- A 93-year-old woman
- A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided ...
- Hospital
- I have been hospitalized for a ...
- Checkup
- A 75 year-old man goes to his doctor for a check-up.
Doctor: "You're doing fairly well for ... - Death
- Mildred was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl. She ...
- Broken Leg
- "HOW DID IT HAPPEN?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg.
" ...
- Laryngitis
- A man called his doctor and said, “Doctor, I think that my wife has come down with a case of ...
- Rabies
- Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal.
...
- Hell
- one day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first ...
- Coffee
- Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in ...
- Shot
- Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before ...
- Grandpa
- A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa
When they ...
- A Bar
- A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and ...
- Giving birth
- Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
- Puns
- Puns
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but ...
- Bowel Movements
- An old man goes to see the doctor.
"it's about my bowel movements..." says the old man.
"Are they ...
- Invisible Patient
- Secretary: “Doctor, there’s a patient on line one who says he’s invisible.”
Doctor: “ ...
- Death
- A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, ...
- A doctor and a lawyer
- A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by ...
- Pil
- A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man ...
- Shrinking
- A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting "help me please, I'm shrinking" The Doctor calmly ...
- Sleeping problems
- Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”
...
- The Old Man
- An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office for his annual physical. After the physical, the ...
- The Decision
- A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I ...
- Pen
- A doctor walks in to an exam room, searching for a pen in his pocket.
The doctor pulls out a ...
- Erection trouble
- A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor ...
- Doctor
- A woman burst out of the examining room screaming after her young physician tells her she is ...
- Wolf
- At a psychiatric ward: “Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6? He believes he’s ...
- Whatsapp
- WhatsApp keeps crashing on my phone and won’t run properly, so I’ve downloaded something called ...
- Dog
- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm ...
- Old Lady
- An old lady comes to her doctor and says, “Doctor, you know how you told me I should avoid going ...
