jokes about babies
- Babies
- Smaller babies may be delivered by ...
- Older Folks 2.
- Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns ...
- Make Babies
- A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what!
We learned how ...
- A simple math/Bird Quiz
- If two storks equals two babies,
and if one stork equals one baby,
then what does zero storks ...
- Children
- HOW THE BIRTH ORDER OF YOUR CHILDREN CHANGES THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE:
Your Clothes:
1st baby: ...
- Babies
- A man carried three newly born babies with him in a train.
An old woman gets astonished and asked, ...
- Being parents
- Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
- People
- A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
- People
- A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
- Baby
- A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I ...
- Baby Boy
- Our baby boy was actually born on the ...
- Blonde Teenager
- A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it
true what Rita just told ...
- Baby Spaceship
- How do you put a baby ...
- Parents
- Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
- Wong
- Su Wong marries Lee Wong.
The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings out a ...
- Baby
- A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. ...
- Baby Planes
- A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
- Baby
- A blonde calls a pharmacy and asks if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains ...
- Baby
- As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! Won' ...
- Baby
- A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever ...
- No ears
- Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When ...
- Russian Baby
- Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come ...
- Indian
- One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son ...
- Baby Shower
- Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to send out invitations via email. ...
- Birth
- A man was about to become a father for the first time, with the baby due to arrive at some point ...
- Texas Baby
- A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just ...
- Daughter
- A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a ...
- Giving Birth
- A young lady in the maternity ward, just prior to labor, is asked by the midwife if she would like ...
- Logician
- A logician had a baby. His colleague asked, " ...
- Baby
- One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib.
Silently, she ...
- A Texas Baby
- A Texan Is drinking in a New York Bar. He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ...
- Makes Sense
- A logician just had a baby.
Her friends ...
- Giving birth
- Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
- Baby sitting
- A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime ...
- Lubricant
- Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to ...
- Windows
- Arnold Schwarzenegger has released a statement saying he won’t be upgrading to Windows 10...
He ...
- Proud to be a Swede
- A Swede is drinking in a bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear ...
- The Affair 1
- A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They ...
- Corn
- What did the baby corn ask the ...
- Corn
- What did the baby corn say to ...
- Family Mole
- Mama Mole, Papa Mole, and Baby Mole all live in a little hole. One morning Papa Mole sticks his ...
- If Men Got Pregnant...
- If Men Got Pregnant...
* Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.
* ...
- Whos your daddy?
- A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
- Weeweechu
- One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ...
- New age Internet p*rn
- New age Internet p*rn: Hey baby wanna come over to myspace so i can twitter ur yahoo till you ...
- Deliver the Baby
- Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the ...
- An Arkansas Delivery
- In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The ...
- Curfew
- I grew up the baby of eight kids. We grew up in a two bedroom house. My mom never had to worry ...
- Lizard
- A lizard mom is pushing her newborn down the sidewalk in a stroller when a neighbor approaches and ...
- Strip Club
- A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat Conspicuously unoccupied in the ...
- Bodybuilder and the Blonde
- A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him.
He takes off his shirt and ...
- Riddle
- A Norwegian man was visiting Sweden and took a taxi from the airport. While chit chatting the taxi ...
- Surrogate Father
- The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their ...
- Babies
- Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
- Christening
- After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all
the way home in the back ...
- Nine Is Enough
- Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest.
He ...
- Free meat
- It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, ...
- Spaghetti
- A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not ...
- Pregnant
- When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was ...
- Pregnant
- As a first grade teacher, I often hear from my students things going on in their family. Harry’s ...
- Dentist
- This woman goes into a dentist's office. After he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to ...
- Six months Pregnant
- When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room:
I was ...
- Pregnant
- A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day ...
- Dinner
- Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every ...
- Yo momma So Old Collection
- Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
- Product Warnings 1
- PRODUCT WARNINGS
Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products:
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not ...
- REAL T-shirt Slogans
- REAL T-shirt Slogans
1. "Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
2. " ...
- Grandparents
- Grandparents
Give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~ ...
- An Englishman and a Scotsman
- An Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a ...
- The Perfect Woman
- An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so ...
- Weeweechu
- It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
Oh no, not now, ...
- The Cinema
- We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a ...
- Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
- Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid ...
- TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
- TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
2. You can ...
- Turpentine
- A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all ...
- Casino
- Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
- Lawyer
- For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The ...
- Female Comebacks
- Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: ...
- A Skunk Tale
- A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
- Female Comebacks!
- Female Comebacks!
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's ...
- A power outage
- Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so ...
- The Affair 3
- A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
'Hurry,' she ...
- Son
- There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple ...
- Frozen skunk
- A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
- Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck
- 1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, ...
- Life Cycle
- I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, ...
- Marine
- Once a MARINE always a MARINE On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her
...
- Rolling the Dice
- Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
- The Life Cycle
- I think the life cycle is all backwards
You should start out dead and get it out of the way.
...
- Wrestle
- Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all ...
- Pretzel
- Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the ...
- From A Mother With Love
- Dear Child,
I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live ...
- Halloween Riddles
- Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher.
...
- Toilet Paper
- A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large ...
- Things Not To Say During Childbirth....
- -- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
-- Do you ...
- Who's The Father?
- A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As it made its appearance it was dark ...
- Four letter words
- A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately ...
- Italian
- For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in ...
- Spaghetti
- Spaghetti
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, ...
- A pregnant Blonde
- My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! ...
