jokes about babies

This baby doesnt seem to be happy
A close shave turns a man into #baby
baby on board
dad with his babies playing on the console #unconnected
When moms alone with the baby and when dads alone
Kangaroo warning baby in its pouch
dog and a baby discussing being gay
leave your husband alone with the baby for 10 mins
baby caught redhanded
stop clubbing baby seals!
Bush handing over crying baby
photobomb level dog
baby crushed smurf
baby scared by big bear
dirty baby eating pie
vanilla ice ice baby
baby scared of doll in his bed
Older Folks 2.
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns ...
Make Babies
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what! We learned how ...
A simple math/Bird Quiz
If two storks equals two babies, and if one stork equals one baby, then what does zero storks ...
Children
HOW THE BIRTH ORDER OF YOUR CHILDREN CHANGES THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE: Your Clothes: 1st baby: ...
Babies
A man carried three newly born babies with him in a train. An old woman gets astonished and asked, ...
Being parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
People
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, ...
Baby
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I ...
Blonde Teenager
A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told ...
Parents
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of ...
Wong
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings out a ...
Baby
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. ...
Baby Planes
A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. ...
Baby
A blonde calls a pharmacy and asks if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains ...
Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever ...
No ears
Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When ...
Indian
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son ...
Baby Shower
Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to send out invitations via email. ...
Birth
A man was about to become a father for the first time, with the baby due to arrive at some point ...
Texas Baby
A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just ...
Daughter
A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a ...
Giving Birth
A young lady in the maternity ward, just prior to labor, is asked by the midwife if she would like ...
Baby
One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently, she ...
A Texas Baby
A Texan Is drinking in a New York Bar. He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ...
Makes Sense
A logician just had a baby. Her friends ...
Giving birth
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, ...
Baby sitting
A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime ...
Lubricant
Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to ...
Proud to be a Swede
A Swede is drinking in a bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear ...
The Affair 1
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They ...
Family Mole
Mama Mole, Papa Mole, and Baby Mole all live in a little hole. One morning Papa Mole sticks his ...
If Men Got Pregnant...
If Men Got Pregnant... * Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay. * ...
Whos your daddy?
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor ...
Weeweechu
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ...
New age Internet p*rn
New age Internet p*rn: Hey baby wanna come over to myspace so i can twitter ur yahoo till you ...
Deliver the Baby
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the ...
An Arkansas Delivery
In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The ...
Strip Club
A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat Conspicuously unoccupied in the ...
Bodybuilder and the Blonde
A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and ...
Surrogate Father
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their ...
Babies
Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse ...
Christening
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back ...
Nine Is Enough
Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest. He ...
Free meat
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, ...
Spaghetti
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not ...
Pregnant
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was ...
Dentist
This woman goes into a dentist's office. After he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to ...
Six months Pregnant
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room: I was ...
Pregnant
A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day ...
Dinner
Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every ...
Yo momma So Old Collection
Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake. Yo momma's so old, she farts ...
Product Warnings 1
PRODUCT WARNINGS Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products: Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not ...
REAL T-shirt Slogans
REAL T-shirt Slogans 1. "Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod) 2. " ...
Grandparents
Grandparents Give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~ ...
An Englishman and a Scotsman
An Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a ...
The Perfect Woman
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so ...
Weeweechu
It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now, ...
The Cinema
We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a ...
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid ...
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN: 1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world. 2. You can ...
Turpentine
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all ...
Casino
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
Lawyer
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The ...
Female Comebacks
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: ...
A Skunk Tale
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
Female Comebacks!
Female Comebacks! Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's ...
A power outage
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so ...
The Affair 3
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she ...
Son
There was a middle aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple ...
Frozen skunk
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the ...
Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck
1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. 2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, ...
Wrestle
Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all ...
Life Cycle
I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, ...
Pretzel
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the ...
Marine
Once a MARINE always a MARINE On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her ...
Rolling the Dice
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and ...
The Life Cycle
I think the life cycle is all backwards You should start out dead and get it out of the way. ...
From A Mother With Love
Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live ...
Halloween Riddles
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? He was buttering up his teacher. ...
Toilet Paper
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large ...
Things Not To Say During Childbirth....
-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. -- Do you ...
Who's The Father?
A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As it made its appearance it was dark ...
Four letter words
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately ...
Italian
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in ...
Spaghetti
Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, ...
A pregnant Blonde
My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! ...
Top 17 Country Songs
Top 17 Country Songs 17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 16. It's Hard To Kiss the ...
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute: 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him ...
Kid's Stories
Kid's Stories While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly ...
These jokes are Bat!
Q: How does a vampire enter his house? A: Through the bat flap! Q: How can you tell a vampire ...
Interesting Facts about Texas
Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas . 1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742 ...
Easter Bunny
Easter Bunny Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs Bunny Q. What does the ...
Hallmark
WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT

  1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. ...
Great Female Comebacks
Great Female Comebacks Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at ...
Kids...
* "Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old grand-daughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. ...
Christmas
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! Why does Santa have ...
Children Writing About The Sea
Children Writing About The Sea: 1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. ( ...
Rules To Consider II
Rules To Consider II 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. ...
50 Years
16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: by Dave Barry , Nationally Syndicated ...

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